Editor's note: Throughout the Olympics, Page 2 writers will argue the merits of including various sports in the Games.
The top 10 reasons why croquet should be an Olympic sport:
10. Provides a legitimate reason to exclaim "booby!" on international television.
9. Unsportsmanlike behavior is encouraged. You can whack somebody's ball to the other side of the lawn, then laugh at their misfortune.
8. No complicated scoring system like gymnastics. First person to finish the game, wins.
7. It will rejuvenate the floundering wicket industry.
6. It's already been an Olympic event. Only this time maybe the French wouldn't win all the medals.
5. Watching the reaction of animal rights activists when they see the game played "Alice In Wonderland"-style, with a hedgehog for a ball and a flamingo mallet.
4. Gold medalists would take that first, awesome step toward immortality -- the Croquet Hall of Fame.
3. Taking revenge on the All England Club for demoting croquet, the real sport of kings, in favor of lame tennis.
2. The skin-tight, streamlined uniforms now common in the pros have gotten out of control. We need the Olympics to restore decorum with 40 layers of petticoats. Or maybe the skintight uniforms are a good thing. Depending on the athlete.
1. There aren't enough sports that unathletic children are capable of winning.