Fact and fiction in the UFL
The United Football League kicks off its premiere season Thursday when the Las Vegas Locomotives host the California Redwoods at 9 p.m. ET, and though the buzz surrounding the league subsided considerably when Michael Vick found mainstream employment with the Eagles, the fledgling UFL still has a lot to offer die-hard football fans -- including NFL-style rules, recognizable names (Dennis Green, J.P. Losman, Tatum Bell, Odell Thurman) and a team, California, whose colors could make the University of Oregon blush (or perhaps go collectively blind).
This isn't a league predicated on gimmicks and gadgets, though. You won't see anyone named He Hate Me, and you won't see padded walls or cheerleaders dressed like Amsterdam window dressing. You will, however, see NFL aspirants scratching, clawing and preening to attract the attention of The Mother Ship.
Here's a quick rundown of the facts and fiction about the newest North American professional football league, which fashions itself as a potential feeder league for the NFL.
Fact: The league selected four cities to host teams in its inaugural season: Las Vegas, New York, San Francisco and Orlando, Fla., while games will also be played in Hartford, Conn.; Sacramento, Calif.; and Los Angeles.
Fiction: Barack Obama presented the case for Chicago.
Fact: The selected cities were chosen "to fulfill the unmet needs of football fans in major markets currently underserved by professional football by providing a high quality traditional football league comprised of world class professional football players."
Fiction: Fans in Cleveland are wondering why the hell they didn't get a UFL team.
Fact: Teams will play six games each, with a grand total of 12 games in the regular season.
Fiction: Randy Moss is intrigued by this lighter schedule and may bolt the Patriots to join the new league.
Fact: The league will use most of the same rules as the NFL.
Fiction: In the UFL, the Tom Brady Rule will be known as the Bubble Boy Provision.
Fact: Among the different rules, both teams will be given at least one possession in overtime, after which sudden-death rules will apply; the Tuck Rule has been eliminated; quarterbacks under duress can ground the ball inside or outside the pocket without penalty; players will be given more leeway on touchdown celebrations; and "tasteful" group celebrations will be allowed.
Fiction: A reproduction of the Minnesota Vikings Boat Ride would qualify as a "tasteful" group celebration.
Fact: In order to provide greater access to the fans, coach-to-quarterback communication will be replayed on tape delay.
Fiction: We'll hear Dennis Green tell Mike McMahon, "I can't believe the Lions let you go."
Fact: Games will be played on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
Fiction: Games will be played on Sunday.
Fact: Tickets are reasonably priced -- $7 for bleacher seats to tonight's game at Sam Boyd Stadium to $42 for center sideline.
Fiction: Teams make up for it by charging $7,500 for personal seat licenses.
Fact: The UFL's Web site says, "Commissioner Michael Huyghue has over 20 years of NFL management experience and is considered the architect in establishing the Jacksonville Jaguars as the winningest franchise of the NFL within a five-year span in his role as the team's Senior Vice President of Football Operations."
Fiction: Regular-season wins make you the winningest franchise in the NFL.
Fact: Todd Sauerbrun is the Florida Tuskers' punter.
Fiction: A "tusker" is a boar on steroids.
Fact: The Tuskers' mascot is a wild boar.
Fiction: They're as cute and collectible as these tuskers.
Fact: Former Buccaneers defensive back Dexter Jackson is playing for the Tuskers.
Fiction: A more obscure player has ever won Super Bowl MVP.
Fact: Player salaries throughout the league will be capped at $200,000.
Fiction: You find this un-American and feel compelled to contact the ACLU.
Fact: Someone will create a UFL fantasy league.
Fiction: You can justify participating.
Fact: The four teams will be coached by Jim Haslett, Ted Cottrell, Jim Fassel and Dennis Green.
Fiction: Their press conferences will be featured in a beer commercial that will make you laugh.
Fact: College players with questionable pro prospects might leave school early to play in the UFL, hoping the competition and coaching will improve their draft status.
Fiction: Anyone from Vanderbilt will be following that route.
Fact: The Las Vegas team is called the Locomotives, and will be known as the Locos for short.
Fiction: The team will avoid the temptation to play "Crazy Train" before every kickoff.
Fact: The New York team is called the Sentinels.
Fiction: They may change their name to the Craphonsos, in honor of wide receiver Craphonso Thorpe.
Fact: Someone really named their kid Craphonso.
Fiction: That guy had an uneventful childhood.
Fact: The Locos have two former NFL quarterbacks, Tim Rattay and J.P. Losman.
Fiction: They're set at the quarterback position.
Fact: The California team is named the Redwoods and "the inspiration behind the design of the logo is to communicate the majesty of the world's tallest living thing, reaching to the sky with strength and stability. The primary mark utilizes references of tree textures and takes inspiration from the crests and shields indicative of our many parks and wildlife destinations. A stylized 'R' cutting through the shield introduces the speed, agility and excitement to the mark."
Fiction: When you think of Redwoods, you think of speed, agility and excitement.
Fact: The Redwoods are owned by Paul Pelosi.
Fiction: You've never heard of his wife, Nancy.
Fact: You can buy a custom authentic California Redwoods jersey for $149.99
Fiction: You're going to wear that jersey into the Raiders' Black Hole and emerge with your life.
Fact: The Championship Game is scheduled for Thanksgiving weekend.
Fiction: The trophy will be made of chocolate and covered in tinfoil.
