Mackey Sasser, Steve Sax and Chuck Knoblauch, because I can envision a very entertaining "skills" competition at All-Star weekend.
Terry Mulholland. Oh wait, someone just told me he's actually still playing. My bad.
Freddy Patek, because I don't care what Tom Hanks says, there is crying in baseball.
Jimmy Wynn, because he's The Toy Cannon for crying out loud.
Fernando Valenzuela, because you can't say he's too old if you don't really have any idea how old he is in the first place.
And last (though the whole point of this is that there is no last, no end, no yesterday), Luis Tiant. Why? Three words: More cigars, please.
Eric Neel is a columnist for Page 2.