Eric: So Scoop, is it true? Are you taking meetings with folks at the highest level of the Spurs organization?
Scoop: As high as the food chain allows. As per our mission, I sought out and found Ms. Longoria.
Eric: You wouldn't tease a fella, now would you? And I guess my real question is, she wouldn't tease a fella, now would she? I mean, no more than a fella would, um, you know, like to be teased.
Scoop: Yeah she would, even if she has no intention. Yo, fam, she's the truth. More cute than bombshell. Feel me? But, oh my G, she's got a smile that does Maxim no justice, no peace.
Eric: I'm torn right now do I envy you, do I hate you, do I love you for bringing back stories? So was she nice?
Scoop: Like Nas and Puff, you can hate me now, playboy! I got to see the 3D version. The small package version. Was she nice? Are housewives desperate? She was nice like Robert Horry's jump shot. Cool as a fan. She spoke to everyone that came up to her and was mad cool about the whole thing. I had heard during the day, she had gotten into a "beef" with someone on the Riverwalk and that she began to play the role. But after meeting her, I was like, "Impossible. She's too smoove to bug out like that," to go Hollywood like that.
Eric: Tell the truth, you're crushing right now, aren't you? You're all cartooned, right? Spinning-circle eyes buggin' out, tongue waggin'. You can tell me. There's no shame in it.
Scoop: I'm pleading the fifth on that. Anyway, here's how it went down: Remember when I told you that Tony Parker was like my cousin? Well, turns out that Eva is sitting at the game with Tony's father, TP1. Now TP1 and I had just gone out the night before and I told him that I'd get with him during the game. So I walk up to holla at him and she's like right next to him in the white tunic top. Sexy as Teri Hatcher. I say hi. She smiled. So Poppa Tony and I passed words, then I bounced. Then after the game, I'm going to the locker room and there she is, standing in the corridor, talking to a few people, you know, chillin'. So I made my little move. I said, "Hey, I'm Scoop. I was the one that came over to speak to Tony's father earlier." She said now get this! "Oh yeah, Hi I'm Eva." Like I didn't know?!? But that's how cool she is, she still plays it like she's on the soaps. Anyway, I explain to her how Tony and I are family. I'm like, Tony's grandmother's sister is married to my mother's other brother. Then I said, "They live in Phoenix."
Eric: And then she said?
Scoop: Dig this: She said, "Oh you mean Charles and Peggy? I love Charles and Peggy!"
Eric: So it's deep this Parker-Longoria thing he's taken her to meet the crew?
Scoop: Yeah, I guess. I don't know. They did play the Suns in the Western Conference Finals, so the Spurs were in Phoenix for a while. But look, after that I'm like done. I mean, she's fam to me now. Been to my uncle and aunt's crib! Know their names by heart! I was like, "OK, if I wasn't a fan before (which I was!), You got me locked now." Tony don't mess up!