By Thomas Neumann
Page 2

On the heels of a crushing defeat in the AFC playoffs, it seems quite possible that the San Diego Chargers could fire head coach Marty Schottenheimer after compiling an NFL-best 14-2 record. As the coach himself said: "Anytime you're in the playoffs and lose, and certainly I have plenty of experience at it, there's a disappointment." So as Marty ponders looking for a retirement home in a land where timeouts grow on trees, Page 2 would like to offer its list of candidates:

Barry Switzer
Stephen Dunn/Getty Images
Hey, at least Barry's won a Super Bowl.

Barry Switzer: He won a Super Bowl in Dallas, and he already has plenty of experience dealing with highly paid, undisciplined players – from his time at Oklahoma.

Dennis Erickson: It's probably at the point in his tenure at Arizona State when he's getting restless and putting the feelers out.

Nick Saban: Word on the street is that he's unhappy that Alabama set him up with an ergonomically unfriendly work station. So the door must be open.

Chris Petersen: Boise State head coach is the best playcaller in the country. Or did you miss the Fiesta Bowl?

Art Shell: At least Art would've just stood there doing his sphinx impersonation, instead of challenging an obvious turnover and frittering away a precious timeout.

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Ryan Leaf: Wait. Come in off the ledge Chargers fans … Leaf served this past season as quarterbacks coach at Division II West Texas A&M, which went 11-2 and made the playoffs. And that's not all he has been doing to beef up his coaching portfolio.

Jim Mora Sr.: We would've loved to hear his postgame rant after Sunday's loss.

Jim Mora Jr.: It would be much easier for him to ultimately take over the University of Washington program once he sets up shop on the West Coast.

SOUVENIR SHOP

Top five rejected Chargers T-shirt slogans for the playoffs:
1. Rottenheimer
2. XLI* (Thanks again, Marty)
3. Challenge this
4. Just do it (hang on to the football)
5. Blunder and Lightning

Kevin Gilbride: It couldn't be as bad as last time, could it?

Buddy Ryan: He once threw a punch at Gilbride during a game. This alone should endear him to Chargers fans.

Stephen Belichick: Although Bill Belichick's son has yet to start college, it might pay to bring him in now, before the Dolphins snatch him up into the inbred AFC East.

Dennis Green: Green has almost as much experience in crowning opponents as Schottenheimer.

Wayne Fontes, Rich Kotite or Bruce Coslet: Because we believe in recycling.

Thomas Neumann is an editor for Page 2. Sound off to Page 2 here.




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