Commentary

Page 2's Backup Quarterback Rankings!

Originally Published: October 22, 2010
By Thomas Neumann | Page 2

Vick, Tebow & Batch ESPN.com Illustration

Other weeks' rankings:
Sept. 15 | Sept. 22 | Sept. 29 | Oct. 6 | BYE | Oct. 22 | Oct. 28 | Nov. 4 | INACTIVE | Nov. 18


You probably shouldn't have clicked on this. We know you have a million better things to do.

Still, morbid curiosity won out, because you just have to know the pecking order of the world's top clipboard carriers. Not that any red-blooded football fan could blame you.

Besides, those TPS reports aren't going anywhere. Might as well enjoy this week's edition of Page 2's Backup Quarterback Rankings:


1. Tim Tebow

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
9
-1
6:37
9
23

Tim Tebow

Yup. Just another instance of ESPN pumping this guy up and pandering to the masses of Tebow fans across the country. ... Yeah, whatever. Dude scored his first NFL touchdown!!! Denver hasn't seen backup quarterback play like this since Gary Kubiak.


2. Michael Vick

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
9
-3
7
8
21

Michael Vick

Vick is still nursing sore ribs and will back up Kevin Kolb this week. However, now isn't the time for self-doubt if Vick has designs on regaining the starting job. He should take any negative thoughts and stash them in the secret compartment of a fake water bottle.


3. Charlie Batch

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
7
-6
8
10
19

Charlie Batch

Ben Roethlisberger returned from suspension last week with a great performance against Cleveland, ending any remote hope Batch might have had to keep the starting role. Nevertheless, Batch seems to have at least two supporters in Cincinnati.


4. Seneca Delhomme

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
7
-5
8
8
18

Seneca Wallace, Jake Delhomme

Seneca Delhomme is a 12-foot-1, 420-pound dose of strapping quarterback with 15 years of NFL experience since completing a stellar college career at Iowa State-Lafayette. Most important,
he has a really cool name. Just not nearly as cool as Colt McCoy.


5. Tarvaris Jackson

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
7
-5
6
8
16

Tarvaris Jackson

Brett Favre is embroiled in off-the-field controversy and battling elbow tendinitis. So Jackson must be prepared to step in and replace the gunslinger -- especially if Roger Goodell calls Favre to say, "I would've thought twice before allegedly sending that text."


6. Bruce Gradkowski

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
5
-4
5
9
15

Bruce Gradkowski

Kyle Boller and Jason Campbell shared practice snaps this week. So Gradkowski, who's nursing a shoulder injury, will ride the pine. We haven't seen a three-headed monster of mediocrity like this since the days of Luc Longley, Bill Wennington and Will Perdue.


7. Vince Ferragamo

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
3
-1
4
6
12

Vince Ferragamo

Ferragamo's feats should serve as motivation to underachievers everywhere. He led the Rams to Super Bowl XIV with a 9-7 record and completed a mere 48.2 percent of his passes that season. That's more than enough to make us want to join his fan club.


8. Dan Orlovsky

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
5
-7
7
6
11

Dan Orlovsky

This is a long overdue selection. You don't hold off the great Matt Leinart for the No. 2 spot on your team for the better part of two months without getting props from Page 2. By the way, there's absolutely no way we're going to link to this clip again. Whoops.


9. Todd Collins

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
7
-6
4
5
10

Todd Collins

Nearly two weeks after the fact, we're still stunned and amazed by Collins' play at Carolina in Week 5. He completed only six of 16 passes for 32 yards. Worse, he was intercepted four times for 27 net return yards. This man is clearly devoted to a backup role.


10. Jimmy Clausen

Team
Upside
Downside
Intangibles
Tangibles
"It" factor
Buzz
2
-5
3
4
4

Jimmy Clausen

As impeccably horrible as Collins was in the game mentioned above, Clausen was the opposing starter in the same game and somehow managed to lose. Clausen has since given the starting job back to Matt Moore -- he of the 33.3 passer rating.


Promoted to starter from last week's rankings: None.

Dropped out of rankings: Brodie Croyle, Chiefs; Earl Morrall, six teams; Tyler Thigpen, Dolphins; Brady Quinn, Broncos; Henry Burris, Stampeders; Derek Anderson, Cardinals.


Thomas Neumann is an editor for Page 2.


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