| The Damn! Moment of Week 6 | Good, bad, ugly from Week 6 | MatchSport: Bond. James Bond. | They're the kings of the world! |
What did we learn about Ricky Williams on Sunday?
What did we learn about the New England Patriots on Sunday? What did we learn about the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday? (Doh!) Hey, enough with the questions. We're in this for the answers, aren't we? So let's get on with it. (Or, as the Vikings might say, let's get it on.) Page 2's Critics present everything you always (well, at least since Sunday) wanted to know but were afraid to ask about Week 6 in the NFL.| AUDIBLES FROM OUR SCREEN WRITERS | ||||||||
 Scoop Jackson |
 Brian Murphy |
 Alan Grant |
 Patrick Hruby |
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| Man or Myth: Panthers WR Steve Smith: | Man | Myth … of Mercury | (Creative) Man | Mythical … to Detroit's secondary | ||||
| What CAN'T LaDainian Tomlinson do? | Play like Daunte Culpepper | End global warming | Get a Supreme Court nomination | Keep ref Butch Hannah safe | ||||
| Was that holding penalty on the Saints chicken salad or (as Jim Haslett says) chicken s***? | Chicken s*** | Cut a weary squad a break! | S*** | Chicken Correct-ore | ||||
| Message sent Sunday by Ricky Williams (5 carries, 8 yards): | The weed was for a reason. | Wishes it were Mike Wallace doing the tackling | "Feed me." Food and otherwise | I … am … Candyman! | ||||
| When Vinny Testaverde won the 1986 Heisman, I was … | Sick of hearing his name. I was a Seminole fanatic. | Trying to wear my hair like Bon Jovi | A precocious freshman cornerback | Mourning Optimus Prime's death | ||||
| When the Vikings disband and the Twin Cities get another team, its nickname should be … | Minnesota Mayflower. (Get it? The boat!) | The Christian Temperance Union | Lakers Without Championships | Sensitivity Trainees | ||||
| Sunday stat that has to be a damned lie: | Corey Dillon, DNP, Coach's Decision | Vinny T.: a rushing TD | Cleveland: 186 total yards | Jake Plummer, 262 pass yards, no ints. | ||||
| This Week's Class Clown: | Mike Tice | Tommy Maddox | Saints' special teams | Tommy Maddox. He's still in the league? | ||||
| This Week's Valedictorian: | Tatum Bell | L.T. | Byron Leftwich | L.T. This is becoming a habit. | ||||
| Describe Priest Holmes' 60-yard catch-and-run TD in four words or less: | Reggie Bush is me. | Sweeter than Gates BBQ | Rarely seen on Sunday | Skateboarding through traffic. | ||||
| Best individual performance in a losing cause: | Jeremy Shockey | Mark Brunell … finally, I believe | Jeremy Shockey | Santana Moss | ||||
| The Steelers missed Big Ben like [FILL IN BLANK] miss [FILL IN BLANK]: | Comedy Central misses Dave Chappelle | Like a Primanti Bros. sandwich would miss fries and mayo | Condi misses Colin | NBC misses "Friends" … and "Seinfeld" … and … | ||||
| Patriots (3-3) final record will be … | 8-8 | 11-5 | 10-6 | 9-7 | ||||
| Tedy Bruschi's return means … | Nothing. They miss Rodney Harrison more. | He's tougher than week-old jerky | Cardiologists become as popular as plastic surgeons | Quite frankly, that's not all you need. | ||||
| Player Most in Need of a Bye Week (even if he's already had one): | Tom Brady | Joey Harrington | Daunte Culpepper | Minnesota's whole team. Er, maybe not. | ||||
| Forgotton Man in 2005: | Edgerrin James | Randy Moss. Donda esta? | Dante Hall | The Steves, Davis and McNair | ||||
| Ugliest play of the day: | Trent Dilfer's fumbled snap on his first play against his old team | Tommy Maddox's OT fumble. Yikes! | Todd Peterson's game-winning kick. (Just an ugly situation.) | Any play in Giants-Cowboys | ||||
| How 'for real' are the Broncos? | Real like the logo on milk | You beat New England, you're real | Real enough to win one playoff game | More real than Guns N Roses' "Chinese Democracy." | ||||
| Bill Parcells was laughing near the end of regulation because … | He knows Bledsoe and Keyshawn are connected like Regis and Kelly | Inexplicably, he's 4-2 | Jeremy Shockey called him sweetheart | Crying is not an option. | ||||
| Trent Dilfer's parting words to the Ravens' defense on Sunday were … | "Your mother made ya, your mother loves ya … ya mothers" | "Thanks for the ring!" | "We really did complete one another, didn't we?" | "Oh, so that's why you cut me." | ||||