EDITOR'S NOTE: On occasion, we all need help. But where to turn? Fortunately, Rachel Nichols is here to bring us the special kind of advice that only the world's greatest athletes can dole out. Whether to take it or not ... well, that's up to you. Today's Ill-Advised expert: Gary Sheffield, New York Yankee and American League MVP candidate.
RACHEL: OK, it's advice time once again, boys and girls. Gary Sheffield knows all. At least for the next few minutes.
So tell us, what's the best advice anyone ever gave you?
GARY: Just be yourself, because nobody is better at being you than you.
RACHEL: Except for the people in those identity theft commercials.
GARY: True. But if you try to be somebody else, you'll fail. You might say, "This guy is my idol," and you want to talk like him, walk like him, all that. For me, it was Barry Larkin.
RACHEL: And how'd that work out for you?
GARY: Not good. I'm better being me.
RACHEL: We'll let the public decide. Let's see how good you are at giving advice.
Our first confused soul today is Sam O'Meara from Delaware. Sam says, "I've become completely obsessed with my fantasy football league -- like six-or-seven-hours-a-day obsessed. I want to break the habit but don't have any other interests. Any hobbies you can recommend?"
GARY: Fishing. That'll keep you busy all day. I go fishing all the time -- deep-sea fishing, fishing for king fish.
RACHEL: Fishing definitely gets you away from the computer. But if you're not careful, you end up in a bad Marky Mark movie.
RACHEL: No, I meant "The Perfect Storm." They go out fishing; they get trapped in this huge storm. It looks like they're going to make it back, but they don't. Sort of like the Red Sox last year.
GARY: Never seen that. I've seen "Titanic." They got stuck out there, too. But that will never happen to me, because I've got options on the boat. I've got the floaters; I have jet skis. Some kind of way, somehow, I'm coming back. I don't know what I'll look like, but I'm coming.
RACHEL: Think about how differently Leo and Kate would have fared with jet skis. "Titanic 2: Sea-Doo Boogaloo." Now that's a movie.
All right, as long as we're talking about star-crossed lovers, our next question is from Andrew in Stamford, Connecticut. Andrew says, "I'm supposed to get married in three months, but I'm getting cold feet because I feel like Maria Sharapova and I are meant to be together. What should I do?"
GARY: I think unless Maria told you so, you got to follow up on what you already got.
RACHEL: Andrew, we have a word for that. It's called stalking.
Then again, Gary, your wife is a big-time gospel singer. Did you have to resort to any stalking to get her to marry you?
GARY: I just told her that God told me we were going to marry.
RACHEL: That could go either way. Destiny. Stalking. Such a fine line.
GARY: But I told her to ask God, and see what He tells you. And she did, and that's the difference. We both felt it, all the way around. That's love. If it's just on one side ...
RACHEL: ... stalking. An important lesson, Andrew.
OK, this next question is a matter of honor, from Peter Kolter. Peter writes, "My golfing buddy is a little too fond of the mulligan. How can I tell him to knock it off without seeming like a boy scout?"
GARY: You need another partner, because that's straight-up cheating. My rule is that if we're going to tell somebody else who won, then you ain't allowed to cheat.
RACHEL: Oh c'mon. When you're playing a civilian, you don't spot the guy a little advantage? A little 'I'm-Gary-Sheffield-and-you're-not'?
GARY: No way. Basketball is my game, and we have five or six guys who play to 21. They try to keep the ball away from the side I'm on. They know I'm a good rebounder and I've got a big backside, so I can post them up pretty good.
RACHEL: That's your big-time move? Hitting them with your butt?
GARY: I just give them some booty, and then I can lay it up. Just like Barkley.
RACHEL: And they say Sir Charles is no role model.
OK, this next one is from Kurt Caldwell in Chicago. He says, "I've been told there are three unbreakable rules for guys. The first is that you can't date a friend's ex-girlfriend."
RACHEL: "The second is you can't hook up with your buddy's sister."
GARY: Oh, that ain't the rule. That ain't my rule.
RACHEL: And they say chivalry is dead.
GARY: Hey, if she's hot, I'm getting her. Don't bring her around if you don't want her to be fair game.
RACHEL: Kurt writes the last rule is, "Don't hook up with a co-worker." And his question is, "Which of the three rules can I break?"
GARY: For me, the only real one there that you can't break is the first one. I don't care if we're 80 -- if you hooked up with my friend, you're not getting with me. Otherwise, it's fair game.
RACHEL: Which is why our boy Andrew has to hope none of his friends date Maria Sharapova, because then he really can't go there.
So what's the best piece of advice you can give?
GARY: Live life to the fullest. Live it the right way. Have fun in doing it. And touch people along the way.
RACHEL: But not in a Michael Jackson way.
GARY: No. Now that would be bad advice.
Got an issue or a question, or otherwise need to be 'Ill-Advised' in the future? Send it to Rachel Nichols right here.