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You can solve the Yankees' problems!

Directions:

Print it out, make copies for co-workers, grab a pen, scan the lists, connect solutions to appropriate person, save the empire, kill the work day.

SOLUTION

Trade

Release

Acquire

Fire

Hire

Promote

Demote

Rent

Bench

Annex

Arrest

Slap

Spank

Berate

Silence

Re-Test

Arrest

Mock

Banish

Quarantine

Resurrect

Pummel

Remove captaincy

PERSON

Kevin Brown

Brian Cashman

Alex Rodriguez

Jason Giambi

Gordon and Rivera

Randy Johnson

The "hat" truck driver

Roger Clemens

Jaret Wright

Sean Henn

Curt Schilling

Rudy Giuliani

Eric Duncan

Ronan Tynan

George Steinbrenner

The Marlins' pitching staff

Don Mattingly

Don Zimmer

Fans in the bleachers

Brian Roberts

Luis Sojo

Paul O'Neill

Derek Jeter