Commentary

The Super Bowl XLIV party report

Originally Published: February 5, 2010
By Jemele Hill and Laura Lane | Page 2

MIAMI -- Guidos and Guidettes,

The economy has rebounded -- at least, that's what they've told us -- and the serious party-throwers who skipped the Super Bowl in Tampa, Fla., last year are supposedly coming to Miami ready to restore their reputations.

Welcome to Super Bowl XLIV, otherwise known as Bringing The Party Back.

The Page 2 party team headed to South Beach cautiously optimistic that the 10th Super Bowl in Miami could live up to its legendary status -- so much so that we channeled our inner "Jersey Shore" to bring you this year's Super Bowl party report, especially because Miami is reportedly one of the locations being considered for Season 2 of the show.

With that said, the buzz on this year's parties was that they were going to be just as entertaining as Snooki looking for a man -- but obviously yielding much better results. They were going to be slicker than The Situation's hair, and all those who engaged in their daily GTL regimen would be rewarded.

We're rating this year's parties by the fist pump. Come Sunday, we'll rate the No. 1 party of Super Bowl week. Until then, check back here daily as we give you a special behind-the-scenes look at what's going down in Miami.

We guarantee it'll be a lot more interesting than talking about Dwight Freeney's ankle.

• EA MADDEN BOWL XVI

Why that title: Each year, EA Sports hosts the Madden championship to determine the best athlete/celebrity gamer.

Where and when: Clevelander Hotel, South Beach.

Performer: None.

Celebrities we saw: Chad Ochocinco, Jared Allen, Tony Gonzalez, Miles Austin, Chris Johnson, Patrick Willis, Percy Harvin, Eric Dickerson, Amani Toomer, Vernon Davis, Roy Williams, Tim Tebow, Warrick Dunn, Clinton Portis, Warren Moon, Vincent Jackson, Kelenna Azubuike, Richard Dent, Maurice Jones-Drew (who won the tournament), Knowshon Moreno, Kirk Morrison.

Celebrities who were confirmed but weren't spotted by us: The Game, Reggie Wayne.

Overheard: Lots of laughter when a woman in four-inch platforms slipped on the dance floor as she tried to execute a complex dance move.

Food factor: No food that we saw, although you could get food elsewhere inside the hotel.

Best party clothes: The smart partygoers showed up in jeans and a T-shirt. Shockingly, several attendees were overdressed.

Worst party clothes: So much to choose from. Was it the guy who wore a cranberry do-rag to match his cranberry shirt? Was it the woman who wore a sequined halter top and Daisy Dukes? Or was it the guy whose collared shirt was so tight you could see his heart beating?

What would The Situation say? He would have Jerry Springer'ed the organizers because it was like Alaska in there, meaning the guys seriously outnumbered the girls. But that's to be expected at an event that's built around video games. Still, the music was fabulous and the party offered three levels of fun, including a rooftop that was perfect for cigar smokers. Athletes can be wary about cutting loose, but this was one party that they seemed totally at ease. And how can you not love a party at which Tim Tebow shows up?

Anyway, we give this one 7½ fist pumps. Just as the Summer Olympics don't really begin until the track-and-field events start, the Super Bowl party scene doesn't really kick off until this party.

• SUPER SKINS KICK OFF PARTY

Why that title: This was the pre-party for the Super Skins Celebrity Golf Classic event. Proceeds from the event benefit several charities, including the Nick Lachey Foundation and the Jimmie Johnson Foundation.

Where and when: At Hotel 944 at the Eden Roc Renaissance Miami.

Performer: Snoop Dogg, who, as Nick Lachey said to us, was the highlight of the night.

Celebrities we saw: Nick Lachey, Vanessa Minnillo, Drew Lachey, Jimmie Johnson, Eli Manning, Michael Strahan.

Celebrities who were confirmed but weren't spotted by us: Jerry Rice, Dhani Jones, Ken Griffey Jr., Jason Taylor, Joey Fatone, Jamie Moyer.

Overheard: NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson made a brief appearance at the party. "We're racing this weekend and next weekend, so I literally flew in an hour ago and we're going to fly back [right after the party]," he told Page 2. What a great party! Last year, Lachey and Johnson made their bash a guys weekend, but this year they both brought their ladies. Johnson brought pregnant wife Chandra, and Lachey had girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo on his arm. She apparently took a long time to get ready, which was why Lachey was 90 minutes late to his own party.

Food factor: No food.

Best party clothes: Eli Manning's pastel linen suit jacket made it look like he was ready to play polo instead of rocking out to Snoop Dogg. But because he's Eli Manning, he can wear whatever he wants and still look good.

Worst party clothes: A man dressed like the Jose Cuervo pirate, fully decked out in a red coat and pirate hat. The tequila maker was a sponsor, and the publicist desperately wanted the pirate to take a picture with Nick Lachey and Jimmie Johnson. He got his wish.

What would The Situation say? There is no doubt The Situation would have used the open bar to his advantage. We can just hear it now: "Hey, can I buy you ladies a drink? This round's on me. But, um, only Jose Cuervo drinks." There was one grenade at the party who had a blond pouf that gave Snooki's famous 'do a run for its money in terms of height. Another tanned, dark-haired woman was running around the red carpet, telling people that she gets mistaken for Snooki all the time. Lets just say The Situation would have felt right at home. With the bonus surprise of Eli Manning and his family showing up, this party gets a solid eight fist pumps.

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Jemele Hill | email

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