Blowing the whistle on the quiz   

Updated: June 16, 2008, 5:22 PM ET

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Week in Review
Paid attention to the week in sports -- and other stuff, like R. Kelly's defense team continuing to argue that his alleged sex tape is all some sort of "Attack of the Clones" CGI-shaming hoax -- that was?

Put your powers of observation and recall to the test with our weekly quiz:

1. Which of the following items have been recalled?
(a) Tomatoes
(b) Dontrelle Willis

2. The New York Daily News reported that Roger Clemens:
(a) Used Viagra as a sports performance-enhancing drug
(b) Will gladly fill your urinalysis cup, if you give him a few minutes
(c) Would rather not solve the equation on the chalkboard, thanks
(d) Is happy to see you, unless you are a process server

3. According to the Daily News, which of the following is NOT one of the off-label effects that has made Viagra increasingly popular among athletes?
(a) Increased endurance
(b) Better delivery of oxygen, nutrients and steroids to muscles
(c) Counteracts impotence resulting from steroid use
(d) Counteracts guilty conscience resulting from snuggling with 15-year-olds

4. Clemens reportedly told at least one friend that Viagra:
(a) Made him feel flushed
(b) Caused his heart to race
(c) A and B
(d) Ruined his ability to use the thinking-about-baseball trick

5. Michelle Wie:
(a) Qualified for the U.S. Women's Open
(b) Still golfs?

6. According to a court filing by former NBA referee Tim Donaghy: (check all that apply)
(a) Water is wet
(b) Superstars get the calls
(c) Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference finals was fishy
(d) Bullets hurt

7. Who of the following said "Why would I be worried?" while meeting with the media before Game 3 of the NBA Finals?
(a) NBA Commissioner David Stern
(b) Alfred E. Newman

8. Stern responded to Donaghy's allegations of corruption and conspiracy among league executives and officials by:
(a) 10 PRINT "Calling Donaghy a felon"
(b) 20 GOTO 10

9. Stern also responded by:
(a) Stating that Donaghy's allegations have been both fully investigated and proven baseless
(b) Providing evidence that Donaghy's allegations have been both fully investigated and proven baseless
(c) Just A

10. In the course of a full investigation of Donaghy's claims, the NBA and law enforcement officials contacted:
(a) NBA referee Bob Delaney, part of the three-man crew who worked Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference finals
(b) None of the above

11. Former Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson has been arrested while using which of the following forms of transportation? (check all that apply) (a) Boat
(b) Automobile
(c) Concorde
(d) Monorail
(e) Lunar lander

Beer Helmet

Sport Images

There's a word for your friends who wear these at parties … that's right -- classy.

12. Identify the image to the right:
(a) A novelty beer hat
(b) Ken Stabler's football helmet

13. During a Detroit Red Wings victory rally, embattled city mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was:
(a) Booed
(b) Not hit in the face with a dead octopus
(c) Fortunate
(d) All of the above

14. Horse trainer Rick Dutrow reportedly will testify at a Congressional hearing examining:
(a) Safety issues in thoroughbred racing
(b) Oral emissions contributing to global warming

15. Following the Belmont Stakes, Dutrow said he:
(a) Felt like a loser
(b) Didn't know why
(c) A and B
(d) Missed the race

16. Which of the following is NOT one of the theories put forth by horse racing observers to explain Big Brown's last-place finish in the Belmont Stakes?
(a) Injured left hoof
(b) Did not receive customary prerace steroid injection
(c) Dehydration due to sweltering weather
(d) Forgot to wear lucky gold thong

17. When Dutrow said Big Brown "didn't have any idea what the [expletive] was going on," he was referring to:
(a) The Belmont's first turn
(b) Doha trade negotiations
(c) String theory
(d) Anything not involving oats, apples or going to stud, since he's a freaking horse

18. Which of the following paid a reported $50 million for Big Brown's breeding rights?
(a) Pentagon procurement office
(b) Isiah Thomas
(c) The Viacom execs who signed off on Katie Couric
(d) Three Chimneys Farm

19. St. Louis Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols:
(a) Was placed on the 15-day disabled list with a strained calf
(b) Now has more time to rejoin Jason Kapono as a Food Network Awards presenter

20. Which of the following headlines is the most surprising?
(a) Energy Dept. Says Oil, Gas Prices to Stay High
(b) Michelle Obama, Cindy McCain are Study in Contrast
(c) Canseco's Former Lawyer Suing Retired Slugger
(d) None of the above

21. Responding to a lawsuit claiming that he failed to pay his former lawyer for five years of work, Canseco told the Associated Press he was surrounded by:
(a) Liars
(b) Thieves
(c) A and B
(d) Mirrors

22. According to the Washington Post, bodybuilding in Iraq:
(a) Is rife with steroid use
(b) Might finally focus Congressional attention on the country

23. Which of the following headlines is made up?
(a) Antarctica Base Gets 16,500 Condoms Before Darkness
(b) Don't Abandon Car in Motion, Says Cyprus Motor Code
(c) Retired Justice O'Connor Unveils Video Game
(d) Players, Coaches Praise Refs Following NBA Playoff Game

24. According to the blog Lion In Oil, Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom is selling a T-shirt for charity that features his number and reads:
(a) Boston Sucks
(b) Projection: Not Just For Movie Theaters

25. Which of the following individuals is most likely to start making 401(k) withdrawals?
(a) Michael Strahan
(b) Floyd Mayweather Jr.
(c) Brett Favre
(d) None of the above

26. Having not being invited to try out for the U.S. women's basketball team, WNBA MVP runner-up Becky Hammon reportedly will:
(a) Play for Russia at the Beijing Olympics
(b) Break you

27. Which of the following individuals has been held hostage? (Check all that apply)
(a) Terry A. Anderson
(b) Jill Carroll
(c) Ingrid Betancourt
(d) Chris Simms

28. Former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield's under-foreclosure Georgia home reportedly has 104 rooms, the better to:
(a) Store his collection of precious gems and Spanish doubloons
(b) None of the above

29. The mother of one of Holyfield's nine children claimed in court papers that the boxer:
(a) Missed two child-support payments
(b) Is still more compassionate and responsible than Karl Malone

30. Which of the following is NOT part of the official four-step cheering method devised by China for the upcoming Summer Olympics?
(a) Rhythmic clapping
(b) Chanting of "Go China! Go Olympics!"
(c) Raising of clenched fists
(d) Application of clenched fists to political dissidents

31. New York Mets catcher Ramon Castro reportedly arrived late to a game in San Diego because he:
(a) Looked at his pocket schedule and didn't realize the listed 4:05 p.m. start was EST, not PST
(b) Is dumb

32. Which of the following items reportedly can be purchased at the NHL's online store?
(a) Pittsburgh Penguins hats reading "Pennsylvania State Champs"
(b) Phoenix Coyotes mugs reading "No. 1 Pro Hockey Franchise In Arizona"
(c) New York Rangers T-shirts reading "Red White and Blue-est Uniforms in Manhattan"
(d) NHL logo-embossed jackets reading "Top-Rated Team Sport on Versus Network"

33. Which of the following did Swiss police send to suspected soccer hooligans prior to this year's European Championship?
(a) Flowers
(b) Candy hearts
(c) Spa coupons good for one massage
(d) Letters asking recipients to please refrain from violence, and ending with "we hope that any encounter between you and us at this event will be nothing but pleasant. If you have any questions about this matter, please contact us. The Police"

ANALOGIES

34. Arizona State baseball : pregame fights
(a) Kobe Bryant : YouTube stunt dunks
(b) Miami Joe : "Dropping" Ken Griffey Jr.'s 600th home run
(c) Stern : Stepford smile while discussing Donaghy
(d) All of the above

35. Constructicons : Devastator
(a) Multicolored lion mechas : Voltron
(b) Hannibal, B.A., Murdock, Faceman : A-Team
(c) Clemens, Canseco, Isiah, whatever else is going on : Page 2 Weekly Quiz
(d) All of the above

EXTRA CREDIT

36. Robert Dee, a 21-year-old British tennis pro, filed a libel suit against three media organizations for:
(a) Calling him the world's worst player
(b) Comparing him to the author of this quiz

37. Two video game enthusiasts reportedly filed a class action suit against EA Sports over:
(a) The company having an unfair monopoly due to Madden's exclusive NFL rights
(b) Arbitrary and capricious removal of Madden ambulance
(c) Inability to program proper pass pocket despite 20 years of trying
(d) Devin Hester's 100 speed rating

38. According to the New York Post, a drunk fan at Shea Stadium:
(a) Shoved children out of his way
(b) Spit in a security guard's face, then took a swing at him
(c) Manhandled Mr. Met
(d) Will be receiving a polite letter from Swiss authorities any day now

39. Which of the following individuals told the New York Post, "It's not true, nothing ever happened with Mr. Met?"
(a) The girlfriend of the drunk fan at Shea Stadium
(b) Anna Benson

ESSAY QUESTION

None this week. If you've made it this far, you'd be better off consulting the DSM-IV.

ANSWER KEY: 1, a-b, though Class-A ball on a major league salary isn't so bad; 2, a, and Clemens is the comedy gift that keeps on giving; 3, d, and also not listed: desire to impale Mike Piazza with bat shard; 4, c, and whatever, Clemens always looks flushed anyway; 5, a, and hey, how 'bout that?; 6, b-c; 7, a; 8, a, and correction: convicted felon; 9, a or c; 10, b, and uh-oh!; 11, a-b, at least as of July 12, 2008; 12, a; 13, d; 14, a, add the Goodyear Blimp and it's a full-fledged gasbag convention; 15, c; 16, d, and maybe getting whipped by a borderline "little person" just isn't Big Brown's thing; 17, a, though d is more accurate; 18, d; 19, a, though b is a distinct possibility; 20, d; 21, c; 22, a, and see what happens when Iraqi children idolize Barry Bonds?; 23, d, and really, the others are 100 percent true; 24, a, and great timing, dude; 25, d; 26, a, and 20 years ago this would have been the biggest story on the planet, and/or lyrics to a Billy Joel song; 27, a-c; 28, b, and who's his financial adviser, Hammer?; 29, a; 30, d; 31, a-b, and C'mooon!; 32, a, and L-A-M-E; 33-35, d; 36, a; 37, a, and who's the attorney, Lionel Hutz?; 38, a-c; 39, a, and Mr. Met = always funny; Essay Question: take a week off. We did!


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