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Swing into Monday with the Page 2 Power Rankings! Our formula combines the results of two surveys: a human poll concocted by ESPN Page 2's Gregory Hardy, and a scientifically calibrated poll generated by computer analysis. Unfortunately, the computer we tapped is from the Cleveland Indians' front office and features the new Hire-A-Manager software they used to select Manny Acta. To the results!

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
9.6	9.7	19.3

Credentials: Sure, teams play baseball every day during the regular season. But to give you some idea of how much time off players get in the postseason, we've heard Alex Rodriguez got so bored he repainted Kate Hudson's toenails 37 times (and she repainted his eight times). Ferris Bueller is embarrassed by how many days off these guys get in the playoffs. Throw in postponements due to some freezing weather here and a deluge there, and the next thing you know, there's only two shopping days until Christmas. The World Series keeps getting pushed back so often, we bet that within 15 years, a Game 7 will be competing head to head versus the Super Bowl.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
9.7	9.1	18.8

Credentials: Down 24-3 in the second quarter on the road -- who ya gonna call? OK, sure, Miami gift-wrapped a bunch of comeback opportunities, and New Orleans ate them up like free stone crab. But to outscore your host 22-0 in the fourth quarter? That's some mean voodoo. Hey, remember last season when the historically doormat-like Arizona Cardinals got to the Super Bowl but nobody in America cared enough to buy a red and white jersey? Get your black and gold gear now, and avoid the rush to the Lombardi trophy.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
9.0	8.8	17.8

Credentials: Take one of the creepiest-looking coaches in the NFL. Dress him in a wig, blue nylons and lipstick. Sneak him onto the team plane to Pittsburgh. And we'll bet half the Vikings now will volunteer to walk to the stadium on the next road trip. Hey, you know at least one Minnesota player was shocked into thinking, "Damn, Coach looks just like my stripper on the Love Boat!"

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
9.1	8.5	17.6

Credentials: Yes, it was Tampa Bay that had to sacrifice a home game to make this trip across the pond work. Then the Bucs had to sacrifice their dignity by losing 35-7 at Wembley Stadium. But who better than the Patriots to teach the Brits what American football is all about? Then again, the idea of sending Bill Belichick anywhere overseas as a goodwill ambassador is slightly less absurd than sending Tom Brady to Parliament to ask whether it's OK that we don't convert the football field's yard markers to metric units.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
8.5	8.2	16.7

Credentials: How much can one defending World Series champ depend on one arm? Considering how 38-year-old Pedro Martinez is one of the better options waiting in the wings and Cole Hamels' ERA is 6.75 this postseason, Phillies fans better hope they can get three quality starts out of Lee against the Yankees ... and by that, we mean in Games 1, 2 and 3.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
7.9	8.0	15.9

Credentials: Why is he upset that Magic Johnson talked smack about him in Johnson's new book? Thomas is lucky every book in the English language isn't out to rip him. Books like "The CBA Encyclopedia" ... "A Craptastic History of the New York Knicks" ... "Lackluster Pacers on Parade" ... isn't Dan Brown's new novel about a conspiracy by the church to excommunicate Thomas from Florida International's basketball program? If you're interested in learning more about Thomas' reviled status in many areas of the sports world, the Library of Congress can recommend many books.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
7.7	7.8	15.5

Credentials: Once upon a time, these teams met in Super Bowl XVIII. Now, they're in a race for this to be the worst decade in their franchises' histories -- in terms of both on-the-field misery and off-the-field buffoonery. If Roger Goodell is so intent on having teams play in London, how much effort would it be to ship these teams to the bottom of the English Channel?

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
7.2	7.3	14.5

Credentials: The latest installment in the "Saw" series took in only $14.8 million in its opening weekend, the smallest total since the series debuted in 2004. As far as horror goes, that's nothing compared to how the Chicago Bears' day went against their "blackballed" ex-running back Cedric Benson, who had a revenge-fantasy career-high 189 yards and a touchdown. Bengals fans, if you find any severed Bears limbs on your way out of the stadium, please remember they are not souvenirs. Kindly return them to Chicago's training room so we can get the defense into surgery right away.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
7.1	6.2	13.3

Credentials: The Bengals' star wide receiver has kicked off his own social media news network. Here's its top story at this hour: A silver balloon shaped like Chad Ochocinco has been seen floating over Cincinnati. Reports indicate Ochocinco is trapped inside. Tragedy or hoax? Stay tuned for further developments.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
6.4	6.1	12.5

Credentials: Maybe the behind-the-scenes rehearsal footage in this film will help fans cope with the loss of the "King of Pop." Maybe it's a cynical attempt by corporate backers to cash in on his bizarre death. Either way, it's probably going to make millions.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
6.3	6.1	12.4

Credentials: And the road to Pasadena goes through ... a corn field? The 8-0 Hawkeyes are No. 4 in the BCS standings, thanks to much love from the heartless computers after a 15-13 win in the final seconds at Michigan State. Whether it's for the Rose Bowl or the BCS title game, coach Kirk Ferentz's surprise team of the Big Ten has its sights set on the West and will get there no matter how much ugly it has to lather up.

Human Poll	Computer Poll	Power Points	Trending
1.2	2.7	3.9

Credentials: Baseball umps are useless in the playoffs without instant replay. Southeastern Conference football refs can't get it right even with instant replay. NBA officials, given your reputations for screwing things up even in the best of times, are you SURE you want to come back to work? A lockout away from the game might be just what the doctor ordered until after New Year's.

Also receiving votes:
• Mississippi State's Johnthan Banks: The true freshman free safety didn't just intercept two Tim Tebow passes in one game. He returned both for touchdowns ... including one that went end zone-to-end zone at the end of the first half. And he didn't even have to promise he would do that.

• Miami's Ricky Williams: Did you know a 32-year-old guy could run that fast? We figured he'd be in the "3 yards and a cloud of dust" phase of his career. On Sunday, he was "three touchdowns and a cloud of mesmerizing."

• Did you pick your Halloween costume yet? One of these years, we all need to get together with a bunch of red playground balls along with yellow jerseys, tight gym shorts and glorious tube socks so we can create a huge team of Average Joes right out of "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story."

Never receiving votes:
• Rally Monkey: A little mojo worked in Anaheim, but now it's back to retirement. Sorry to see you go, little fella. For a minute there, you had us all misty-eyed for great baseball nostalgia from early in the decade. But the next thing we know, Mark McGwire is the batting coach for the Cardinals. So, bleh.

• Facebook, what's the difference between a Live Feed and a News Feed? Sheesh, enough with the sweeping, arbitrary changes that fall from the sky out of nowhere. Someone hurry up and invent the next social media platform already.

• NFL in L.A.: Are you kidding? Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signs a bill to help get a 75,000-seat football stadium built outside Los Angeles? Forget it! It'd never work in that part of the country. For a new franchise, find a town with a proven track record of welcoming pro football -- like London.

Greg Hardy is a Page 2 contributor. It's all pop culture all the time at Twitter.com/HardyVision.