Is Michael Vick the most exciting thing to happen to pro football since Gale Sayers? Probably. Faithful followers of this list have been sporting No. 7 Falcons jerseys since the day he came into the NFL. He's as hot as any athlete of the last ... fill in your own number of years, depending on your comfortableness with hyperbole.

But what else does Vick need to ascend to true superstardom? An MVP? A Super Bowl ring? Maybe, but here's a checklist of what the kid and his handlers need to assume top-billing in sports culture:

Model/actress girlfriend(s): (Note: Tyra may not be up for those conjugal visits)

Since Vick's bandwagon is getting awfully crowded, check out what else is hot (and passé) this week. Good seats still available:

What's Hot, What's Not this week
Category	Hot	Not
NFL game of the year	Bucs vs. Vick	Bucs vs. Pack
Who runs Rams show?	Kurt Warner's wife	Mike Martz
BCS guarantee	Iowa not a lock yet	Underestimating Notre Dame
NBA rookie worth paying to see	Dajuan Wagner	Nik Skitishvili
Laker-haters	They're so mediocre right now!	Hold judgement until June
Hot free-agent commodity	Tom Glavine	Jim "Off the Market" Thome
Heisman front-runner	Carson Palmer (regional solidarity)	One of the Miami guys (regional vote-splitting)
College hoops necessity	Senior steadiness	Freshman flash
How to save folding college swim team	Auction team financing on eBay	Whine about unfairness
Augusta legend	Tom Wyman	Hootie Johnson
Martha Burk's talking point	"It's a PGA thing."	"It's a Tiger thing."
Ted Leonsis' biggest problem	Deflated Caps	AOL strategy
Yao endorsement bonanza	Selling coffee to the Chinese	Selling, uh, tea to the Chinese
Spurrier's concern	A decent kicker	A decent QB
Bowl	GMAC (Ragone vs. Leftwich)	New Orleans (North Texas vs, C-USA 4/5)
Pro bowling's "300 game" epidemic	Makes sports more intesting	Analagous to baseball juicing
NFL concern	Excessive violence in video games	Excessive violence on field
Golf story of the year, 2003	Suzy Whaley wins Greater Hartford Open	St. Andrew's changes sand trap at 17!
Sneaker/hip-hop impresario	Jay-Z	Master P
Webber 'fessed up	Mayce	Chris
Tiered ticket pricing	How 'bout money back if team loses?	Pay less to see Mets lose to the crappy teams
College coaching commodity	Dennis Franchione	R.C. Slocum
College football must-watch game	Miami-Virginia Tech	Army-Navy, regrettably
San Jose Sharks	Ron Wilson, teacher	Darryl Sutter, "Tank-er"
Underappreciated	Herman Moore	Tim Brown
"After-futher-review" quickest college hoops PG	Dee Brown, Illinois	Raymond Felton, UNC
Holiday-weekend flick	"Adaptation"	"Eight Crazy Nights"

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "What's Hot, What's Not" trend-spotting list appears Thursdays. Got inside scoop on an up-and-coming trend? Want to declare something passé? Send this glimpse of your hipness to hotnotlist@yahoo.com.