A Wedding Story   

Updated: November 9, 2010, 1:11 PM ET

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Have you heard about the Boston hero and world-famous hottie getting engaged? Move over, Ben and J-Lo: Nomar Garciaparra and Mia Hamm are going to tie the knot!

Nomar Garciaparra, Mia Hamm

I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs. Curse of the Bambino.

At Page 2, we've already proclaimed it our "Sports World Wedding of the Year" -- not that we're angling for an invite (hint, hint!). We've heard whispers that the couple is considering "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" as their first dance, that Hamm's bridesmaids will be wearing U.S. Women's National Team soccer jerseys and that "Nomah's" groomsmen will be wearing "Monster Green" bowties and cummerbunds. (Beats the usual bridesmaid dress-hell.) Of obvious interest is who Boston's Most Eligible Bachelor, Sox GM Theo Epstein, will be taking to the party.

More importantly, we've made some calls and gotten the inside scoop on some of the stuff they've registered for. So whether you are going to the big event or just want to sound like you are, check out the list below:

For the Bedroom/Boudoir
1 -- Comforter
Mia and Nomar say: "Preferably something in the "Don't worry, Sox fans, there's always next year"variety!"

For the Kitchen
1 -- John Henry Williams-style ice-cube maker/storer/holder
Mia and Nomar say: "Yes, that's cold."

1 -- Grill
1 -- Roaster
1 -- Cleaver
1 -- Hot Pad
1 -- Steamer
Mia and Nomar say: "A hint to all you baseball writers out there. As if the pressure to perform in Boston isn't tough enough!"

1 -- Six-Quart Hand-Cranked Stove-top Popcorn Popper
Mia says: For those pre-game, get-fired-up parties with my team! (Nomar says: Just as long as we don't invite Carl Everett.)"

1 -- Silicon spatula
1 -- Steel-lever ice-cream scooper
Nomar says: "I saw 'Stripes.' "

1 -- Pasta machine
Mia says: "What self-respecting athlete couple doesn't load up on the carbs?"

1 -- Stoneware covered butter dish
Nomar says: "I like to spread it in my glove to soften it up."

For the Living Room
1 -- TiVo
Mia and Nomar say: "So we can watch replays of each other when we're home from road trips."

6 -- High ball glasses
Mia says: "That's my header! I got it!" Nomar says: "Back off, baby! That's my ball!" Mia says: "Don't mess with me, sweetie!" Nomar says: "What a competitor! I love her!"

1 -- Karaoke machine
Mia says: "Because my singing voice needs a whole lot of help! Oh wait: That's J-Lo."

For the Dining Room
8 -- Place settings
Nomar says: "Or maybe just a decent leadoff hitter to set the table for me."

8 -- Placemats
Mia and Nomar say: "Just ask for the special 'Green Monster' color pattern!"

8 -- Napkin rings
Mia says: "Did we say 'napkin rings?' We meant 'World Series rings!' Easy mistake, given how close Nomar has come to them.

Nomar Garciaparra, Mia Hamm

Friends don't let friends wear matching jerseys.

For the Bath
1 -- Pert Plus gift set
Mia and Nomar say: "Ever since Mia's endorsement contract ran out, we just can't get our hair as bouncy and shiny with the other stuff!"

1 -- Sonic toothbrush (two brush heads)
Mia says: "Endorsement dollars don't go to the coffee-stained smiles!"

For the Home Office
1 -- Weight-lifting/exercise set
Mia says: It was Nomar's buff body on that SI cover that first got me interested. Wouldn't want him to get flabby!"

1 -- FIFA World Cup 2003 (for Xbox or PlayStation 2)
Mia says: "I'll show that Milbrett who's STILL the boss!"

1 -- Tom Emansky hitting video
Mia and Nomar say: "Back-to-back-to-back AAU champions can't all be wrong!"

1 -- Replica American League MVP trophy
Mia and Nomar say: "What? Like Nomar will ever win a real one?"

"His 'N Her" (Miscellaneous)
8 -- Locker-room towels
12 -- Sportsbra/jockstrap combo pack
4 -- Cleats
2 -- Garment bags
2 -- Jersey frames
2 -- Bobblehead dolls

1 -- Minivan (selected styles)
Mia says: "For my future career as a world-class soccer mom, naturally. (Manny can afford it.)"

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2 and thinks candlesticks make a nice gift.


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