Page 2 columnist
Eight strangers were brought together in New York City, divided into two teams and let loose on a monthlong, cross-country version of a scavenger hunt on steroids. The challenge: Be the first to complete 10 (out of 40) sports-related tasks and get to Alcatraz. And oh by the way, they have nothing but the clothes on their backs and their wits.
That's why it's called "Beg, Borrow & Deal" (Tuesdays on our mothership, ESPN). And that's why Page 2 will be tracking their progress each week. Episode 6: Midwest DramaTeam Cobi
Current status: Up 8-5 after they hightailed it from
Chicago to Kansas City, then plotted their way onto
the field at Arrowhead Stadium, where they put a
penalty kick past a goalie from the MLS K.C. Wiz. But
not before they spent a memorable night in a Kansas
City hotel room ...

Came up big: Five episodes of growing distaste for Juliet melted away in a single sequence of
eye-popping, jaw-dropping events in the team's Kansas City hotel room. Two words: Fake orgasm.
Could have done better: Once again, she got snippy with someone the team was trying to beg from. It
happened to be a jerky hotel manager, but all the same, they should put her outside when dealing with
people in authority.
Overall: After watching her sultry towel scene in the
hotel bathroom -- not to mention her best "When Harry
Met Sally" diner-scene impression -- Juliet makes us
forget all about how interpersonally challenged she is
most of the time. (Check out this week's Likeability
Ratings!)
Big question: And you say you missed this episode?
(Here's a hint: Watch the repeat, paying particularly
close attention between the 20th and 30th minute of
the hour for "The Juliet Show.")

Came up big: As predicted last week, Bubba finally
came through after a multi-episode value drought,
punching a goal past MLS goalie Bo Oshoniyi to earn
his team their eighth task.
Could have done better: I mean, have we all seen the
mistake of his long hair by now? Was his soccer-field
pony-tail enough to convince all you doubters?
Overall: Being the team member that was relied upon to
actually complete the task must have done wonders for
his confidence. Maybe now he'll step up for the last
two tasks.
Big question: Why isn't Bubba making a play for
Juliet??
| This week's BBD Likability Ranking | |
|
Check out the shake-ups! 1 Juliet: I am still in disbelief (LW: 7) 2 Bubba: Gooooaaaaaaaal! (LW: 4) 3 Josh: Like the post office, he delivers (Last week: 1) 4 Kelli: A perky team presence (LW: 2) 5 Aubrey: Just take over! (LW: 5) 6 Katie: At least she didn't hurt the team (LW: 8) 7 Tony: Still hungry? You child. (LW: 3) 8 Julian: No "I" in "team" -- but there is in "quit" (LW: 6) |
Came up big: Totally took the lead in getting the team
into the Wiz organization -- and onto the field for the
task-completing penalty kick. Also managed to convince
a stranger "who worked at Hallmark" to buy two of the
team's bus tickets to Denver (Juliet once again used
rich-family connections ... not that there's anything
wrong with that.)
Could have done better: We knew Josh was the worst
athlete of the eight competitors, but his penalty kick
was atrocious.
Overall: His sexually charged repartee with Juliet in
the hotel room was better than any of his many classic
lines throughout the previous five shows.
Big question: When trouble finally hits this team, how
will Mr. Leader react?

Came up big: Part of the now-legendary "Getting Ready
in the Hotel Room" scene with Juliet.
Could have done better: After productive Michigan,
it's back to let-others-lead Kelli.
Overall: If she spent as much time plotting strategy
as she did trying to find a comb to put through her
freshly showered hair, the team would be better off.
Big question: Why won't she step up on the
begging-from-guys tip like Juliet?
Overall team analysis: Never mind that this team is rolling along just about as perfectly as one can. Never mind that the tasks are dropping like the rain they seem to run into everywhere. This team shared a moment in their Kansas City hotel room that will go down in the annals of reality-TV shows as one of the best of all time. They could complete no more tasks from here on out -- not even make it to San Francisco -- and they can all say, "We still had Juliet's performance." We -- Team Cobi, me, you -- are all winners.
| ***** ***** ***** |
Team Contact
Current status: We thought it couldn't get any worse
than Episode 5's disaster -- yet here they are, en
route from Memphis to Dallas, having gone through a
third straight city without completing a task. Team
Dysfunction is in a "must-complete-a-task" situation
in the competition. Overall morale is in the dumper,
but they all seem pretty resolved to (finally) get
something done.
Ranking the teammate performances this week:

Came up big: Well, with no tasks completed,
compliments are hard to come by, but Aubrey remains
the only player on the team focused on actually
getting tasks done.
Could have done better: Yes, Tony was extremely whiny
about getting food, but in the end, he was right, and
Aubrey was wrong.
Overall: We thought that she'd go the entire episode
without her usual display of waterworks, but there
they were -- in the final scene. Aubrey has more
teary-eyed moments than the team has tasks.
Big question: How can Aubrey lead a team that doesn't
want to be led?

Came up big: Like her three teammates, she didn't do
much positive for the team.
Could have done better: Three straight towns without a
task? Why couldn't she have worked a little harder to
be productive?
Overall: At least she didn't hurt the team
(like she usually does). She left that to the guys
this week.
Big question: What happened to that nasty 'do-rag
she's been sporting for the last week? (Not that we're
complaining.)

Came up big: Convinced those two Little Rock women to
drive them to the bus station to get to Dallas at the
episode's end.
Could have done better: Tony derailed the entire trip
to Memphis by insisting that the team stop for food.
When he didn't get his way, he literally flipped out,
then shut down -- at one point throwing the task map at
his stunned teammates.
Overall: So much for Tony's Episode 4 and 5 commitment
to being a team player. His selfish
"Tony-needs-to-eat" routine further demoralized the
group (even though they all enjoyed the food once he
got it for them).
Big question: Will Tony continue to refer to himself
in the third person?

Came up big: Didn't.
Could have done better: Let's see -- he bitched about
Aubrey's "bitching." And he threatened to quit the
team if they didn't catch their bus from Little Rock
to Dallas, saying, "If it's looking like I'm losing,
I'll quit right now."
Overall: Seriously, Julian adds so little value that
they would be better off if he quit the team. I
dare him to! The guy used to be ineffective yet
harmless; now he's an anchor.
Big question: Is he serious about quitting? Please?
Overall team analysis: Why don't they do the smart thing and hand the control of the team over to Aubrey? Well, Katie is too egotistical. Tony is too immersed in being Tony. Julian is more concerned with quitting -- or throwing support to Katie while picking fights with Aubrey. There's a reason why this team has gone through three straight cities without a task -- it is impossible for them to work together. Heading into Dallas, at least the "Coming next week ..." highlights looked promising, because otherwise, they might as well all follow Julian to the quitters' line.
Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. Check back each week for a review of the latest episode of "Beg, Borrow & Deal."
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