THE FINALISTS -- ROUND 3, THE WINNERS: 1-3 | 4-7 | 8-11

THE FINALISTS -- ROUND 3, THE ELIMINATED: 1-6

FINALIST NO. 8
Name: Gabe Spitzer
College: Wesleyan University 2005
Residence: Middletown, CT
Current Job: Worthless 2nd semester senior
Age: 22

1. What was your favorite sports moment that you've seen in person?
October 20, 2004. It was the top of the fourth and Johnny Damon had officially ended The Javier Vazquez Project by hitting his second homer into the top deck to make it 8-1. While sitting in my makeshift throne in the last row of the upper deck, free from being hit by flying projectiles, I witnessed a strange phenomenon: Yankees fans streaming towards the exits in the FOURTH INNING of what experts had called the most anticipated game in the HISTORY OF BASEBALL! Seconds later, a kid in a Yankees cap, with tears streaming down his face, reached out to shake my hand and congratulate me before he left the Stadium. I didn't know what to do. Would The Terminator have shook T-1000's hand if he had conceded defeat? I gave him a half-hearted shake and the feeling that the Sox were finally not going to blow another one began to sink in.

2. What's your favorite sports movie ever and why?
I can recite every line from "Major League" in three of the five romance languages. From this original band of idiots we learned about the necessity of sacrificing live chickens, stealing home with "the little green home-run hitter," and throwing at your own kid in a father-son game.

My favorite sports flick includes this grocery list of greatness, sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire":

Taylor's bunt, Dorn's wife, Cerrano shaving with a knife, Harry Doyle, Chief Wahoo, Hats for Bats and Jobu. California Penal League, Cleveland's got a winning team, Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland!

Most importantly, though, manager Lou Brown let us and Wild Thing in on a little life lesson: when your back's against the wall, "forget about the curve ball, give 'em the heater!"

3. Who's your favorite athlete ever and why?
The only sport that required short bursts of energy, and had a small enough playing surface for my chunky childhood frame to maneuver on with grace was tennis. John McEnroe dethroned The Chief to become my favorite athlete because he was the only one able to make a lazy and insolent kid like me believe that I could fulfill my goal of playing Wimbledon in my socks. Sure, he was a bit past his prime, but he still had attitude, the left-hand, short-shorts, and a celebrity wife to boot. Johnny Mac was a rock star in a country club game.

4. What do you think was the funniest moment in sports history and why?
Tommy Lasorda doing an inadvertent tumbleflip at the 2001 All-Star Game, frozen somewhere in that murky area between fight-or-flight. As the lumber hurtled towards the old skipper, he threw his arms up in desperation, plopped down and mumbled, "I've fallen and I can't get up." Is there anything funnier than seeing stumpy Lasorda soil his "Depends" as he ineptly attempts to elude a bouncing bat? Dodger? Yeah, right.

FINALIST NO. 9
Name: Justin Williams
College: Bryant University 2005
Residence: Smithfield, RI
Current Job: Student
Age: 21

1. What was your favorite sports moment that you've seen in person?
Going to a Bullets game and getting the opportunity to see Gheorge Muresan play on the same court as Shawn Bradley. No explanation is needed to explain why this is my favorite moment.

2. What's your favorite sports movie ever and why?
"Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon." Why? If you take the elements of "The Karate Kid," but set the movie in Harlem and replace the soundtrack with old-school rap/funk you have an instant classic.

3. Who's your favorite athlete ever and why?
Jack Trice, the first black athlete in Iowa State University's history. On the night before his first game, 10/23/1923, he wrote the following:

"My thoughts just before the first real college game of my life: The honor of my race, family & self is at stake. Everyone is expecting me to do big things. I will. My whole body and soul are to be thrown recklessly about the field tomorrow. Every time the ball is snapped, I will be trying to do more than my part ... "

In the first half of the game, Trice broke his collarbone but continued playing until the 3rd quarter when he was trampled by several players while breaking up a run play. He'd die four days later from internal bleeding. The above note was found in his jacket pocket at his funeral.

Whether they choose it or not, athletes are placed on a pedestal in our society. As a student-athlete and sports fan(atic) I want to believe the players I admire -- and spend money and time to watch -- care about the position they hold. Today it's commonplace to see athletes claim they aren't role models, take running plays off, and/or underachieve to force a trade. When compared with them, it's impossible not to be drawn to Trice, a man who understood his play was a reflection of himself, his family and entire race. He took his position so seriously that he was willing to throw his body and SOUL around recklessly.

Trice is my favorite because I respect his heart and dedication, but if I decided purely on talent and charisma, I'd have to go with Mr. Perfect: the only athlete I've ever seen throw a football 100 yards then run under it and catch it. In short, like me for this intern gig, he was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

4. What do you think was the funniest moment in sports history and why?
My Funniest Moments Trifecta:

Show -- Any Mike Tyson interview -- because they ran the gamut from the eating of children to their being kicked in the head and stomped in the testicles.

Place -- Dennis Rodman kicking the cameraman in the groin -- because, I mean, it's a groin kick.

Win -- AAA Pawtucket Red Sox player Izzy Alcantara delivering some Sweet Chin Music to an unsuspecting catcher after he was beaned and before he charged the mound -- because I've never seen a savat kick so hilariously and successfully executed before a mound charge.

FINALIST NO. 10
Name: Renee
College: University of Alberta 2005
Residence: Edmonton
Current Job: Accounting Student
Age: 23

1. What was your favorite sports moment that you've seen in person?
I'm coming outta the closet ... I'm a beaver loving, curling worshiping, maple syrup drinking Canadian. ... How bout that eh? And in defense of my country, Bryan Adams is not an icon down here ... he's more like an earth dwelling GOD and to echo your friend Eli's sentiments "this lockout IS KILLING ME." That being said, I'm at a slight disadvantage when it comes to describing my best sports moment. For a Canuck this moment likely involves either a sport no one in the US realizes is in lockout or one that involves old fat guys playing a glorified version of hopscotch on ice ... also known as curling. So, to compensate for my handicap, I'm playing the celebrity card. I'm telling you about the time I shook hands with Wayne Gretzky ... HOCKEY JESUS.

The year was 1990 after Wayne was traded to the Kings (which is pretty much the equivalent of the Celts trading Larry to the Raptors during his prime). The Kings were in town for a game and my parent's friends owned a Chinese takeout place and wouldn't you know it, Wayne likes Chinese food. To make a long story short, 15 Chinese people, young and old, ended up hoarding into 3 cars to make the delivery. We got there 20 minutes too late and 14 people too many but it was a worth it because Wayne shook every hand, answered every broken English question, and even patiently waited as my Dad's geeky friend tried to get his old school camera to work. The best part ... he left a $100 tip on a $25 meal. I started to follow Wayne's career after that day, started to follow hockey and eventually started following everything sports. This contest is suppose to be funny, but seriously ... it wasn't the fact that I met Wayne that made this so memorable it was that he lived up to everything everyone hoped of him. He really was the good guy who managed to finish first and that's pretty cool.

(I think I just grossed myself out proof-reading that paragraph.)

2. What's your favorite sports movie ever and why?
A decision between "He Got Game" and "Rounders" (and yes Poker is a sport) with "Rounders" coming out on top if for no other reason then the fact I found KGB's OREO fetish incredibly hot for some bizarre reason. Combine that with Gretchen Mol's parody of an acting performance and you've got the makings of a classic I chose to watch on late night TV instead of studying for my midterm 2 weeks ago.

3. Who's your favorite athlete ever and why?
Ray Lewis ... miked up ... full length minks ... .pregame dance ... overexposed ... but an inspirational leader.

4. What do you think was the funniest moment in sports history and why?
For those watching the live feed of the Pistons/Pacers brawl, the moment when Jamal Tinsley emerged from the locker room brandishing a dustpan ready to take on all comers. This one's kinda self explanatory.

FINALIST NO. 11
Name: Jason Wainscott
College: University of Cincinnati, 2000
Residence: Cincinnati, Ohio
Current Job: Attorney
Age: 25

1. What was your favorite sports moment that you've seen in person?
December 4, 1997. Tennessee at Cincinnati. Thursday night nationally televised game, and the Bengals were cruising to a 41-14 win. The Titans could not stop Corey Dillon, we were inebriated and my friend, The Gig, had his shirt off outside at night in December. "Good times" (Simmons®).

At some point during the fourth quarter in a moment of drunken clarity I looked at my buddy, T-Patty, after a long Dillon run and said, "Dillon's having a hell of night ... I think he has over 200 yards." My buddy said, "You're hammered, that would be some sort of record."

About two seconds or twenty minutes later, the Riverfront Stadium scoreboard indicated Corey Dillon had rushed for 246 yards breaking Jim Brown's then 40-year-old NFL single-game rookie rushing record.

2. What's your favorite sports movie ever and why?
"Friday Night Lights" (with "Sideout" a close second).

I can't help it. Maybe because it's still new and I haven't watched it seven hundred times yet, but there are at least a dozen scenes I love in this movie.

When Ivory goes on his tirade during halftime of the finals, I get so fired up I could put my head through a brick wall. When Tim McGraw hands his ring to Billingsley, my hay fever acts up every time.

"Enjoy it, because after this there's nothing but babies and memories." Tell me that wouldn't make an outstanding high school yearbook quote. If you don't love this movie, you can't be my friend.

3. Who's your favorite athlete ever and why?
Peter Edward Rose.

My Cincinnati heritage makes it impossible for me to hate Pete Rose and if I ever meet Simmons I'm spiking his Shirley Temple or Diver Down with Ohio River water for his past comment that Pete is the biggest scumbag in all of sports. Let me get this straight; BS follows the NBA as one of the last 10 remaining fans and he could not find anybody that was a bigger jerk than Pete Rose? Not even in the NFL ... in Baltimore, maybe? I'm not sure Bill looked hard enough.

I like #14 because he played hard everyday, he had a sweet haircut, and he's not afraid to make a trip into a casino once in awhile. Seriously, if you end up hanging out with Pete, there's probably a 92% chance you're going to have a good time ... even if you're just hocking autographed Hit King hats outside of Cooperstown.

Should Pete be back in baseball? No. Should he be in the Hall? Absolutely. Is he a jackass? Yeah ... but still, 4256 hits is a lot of hits.

"I'd walk through Hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" (Charlie Hustle®). Damn right.

4. What do you think was the funniest moment in sports history and why?
Joe Namath. Suzy Kolber. "I wanna kiss youuuu."

Because we've all been there. If I ran ESPN 6, I'd show that clip every hour on the hour.

THE FINALISTS -- ROUND 3, THE WINNERS: 1-3 | 4-7 | 8-11

THE FINALISTS -- ROUND 3, THE ELIMINATED: 1-6