Q: Did you realize that the gal who plays Alex on "The O.C." (Olivia Wilde) was on one of your favorite Fox TV shows ever – "Skin," which lasted all of two episodes?
– Roberto Gasparini, College Station, Texas

SG: And you know what else? HER FATHER WAS THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY!!!!!!!!!

Isiah Thomas
For valuable insight, keep this book on your nightstand.

Q: Have you seen a book called "The Fundamentals: 8 Plays for Winning the Games of Business and Life" by Isiah Thomas? I walked past it in a Barnes & Noble and thought that it's now official ... ANYONE can write a "how-to succeed in business" book. I think mine will be about making the correct selection from the vending machine.
– Travis Bell, Washington, D.C.

SG: Look, if Rick Pitino can release a book after his Celtics' tenure called "Success is a Choice," all bets are off at this point.

Q: In your last mailbag, the e-mail about the WNBA and the $5 bill was great, when I read it the first time around. Go check out the mailbag you answered with Jimmy Kimmel. C'mon, Simmons. If you're going to run a "Best of the Sports Guy" column, let us know before hand.
– Wes, Virginia Beach

SG: I'm threatening to shatter the all-time record for "Most people who have ever complained about a free column." Anyway, here's what happened: I have multiple documents filled with potential mailbag questions from the past four years, so when I was searching for a WNBA question, I stumbled across the one about the $5 bill and forgot that I used it last summer. The weird thing was that I answered the question two different ways. Apparently, I'm bipolar. Anyway, I apologize – you're all getting refunds in the mail for $0.00.

Q: I had just finished reading your comparison on "The O.C." and "90210" when I realized something very disturbing. My dream girl would be a smoking hot chick with your personality. Should I stop reading? Should I pretend this never happened? If so, simply respond "uncomfortable silence."
– Mike R., N.Y., N.Y.

SG: What about "trying to swallow own tongue"?

Q: My buddy Evan and I got a huge kick out of a new game last night. Next time you're watching a Suns game and they cut to close-ups of Mike D'Antoni on the bench, start saying things like:

1. "Top Gun rules of engagement are written for your safety and for that of your team. They are not flexible, nor am I. Is that clear?"

2. "I'm not gonna sit here and blow sunshine up your a--, Lieutenant."

3. "In case some of you are wondering who the best is, they are up here on this plaque."
– Jim Bowling, Dallas, Texas

SG: Great, you've ruined the Suns for me. Now I'm never going to be able to watch another of their games without waiting for D'Antoni to tell Steve Nash, "And if you can't find someone to run that pick-and-roll, give me a call, I'll run it with you."

Q: Did you seriously just come out and publicly state that Pearl Jam or Smashing Pumpkins really could hold a candle to Nirvana? I know this is supposed to be about sports, but c'mon. You're way outta line. An "In Utero" follow-up wouldn't have been better than the 40-watt snooze powerhouse "No Code"? Or that "Infinite Sadness" crap? I haven't even finished the column yet, but I'm moved to respond. You're talking like Nirvana was J.R. Rider, when they were quite clearly Lenny Bias. (Maybe Biggie was Lenny Bias and Nirvana was Reggie Lewis. MAYBE.) Who would Pearl Jam be if we made the comparison now? Christian Laettner probably. And Smashing Pumpkins? Shawn Kemp.
– Evan Brown, Northampton, Mass.

Continued...


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