150. Andrei Kirilenko
(Shaking head sadly.)
135. Lamar Odom
Remember the SNL sketch about the Time-Life series for videos of family dysfunction, when every vignette (Thanksgiving, Easter, birthday, etc.) ended with Will Ferrell suddenly flipping over the dinner table and screaming, "That's it, [bleep] this, I'm out of here!" From January to March, after watching Kobe go one-on-three one too many times, I kept waiting for Odom to do this just flip over the press table and scream, "That's it, [bleep] this, I'm out of here!" Instead, he went on the DL with a fake injury. Wise move. I wouldn't want to be his bong right now.
110. Freddie Jones
Survived the random attack from Ben Wallace's brother, served as the go-to guy for the Pacers when half their team was missing, kept them competitive when everyone thought they were done ... and now he's settled into a productive bench role. I'm not saying that he deserves his own DVD or anything, but you have to hand it to him he wasn't even their 10th man heading into the season.
107. Andre Iguodala
Officially replaced Kirilenko as "The Guy You Don't Want Guarding You Under Any Circumstances." And he's only a rookie. That reminds me, here's another idea for an All-Star Weekend Event: The Miller Lite Kapono-Iguodala Challenge. You have eight contestants, each of whom has to choose ones of two options:
A. In five minutes, score as many baskets as possible against Andre Iguodala.
B. In 45 seconds, score as many baskets as possible against Jason Kapono.
(Which option would they choose? Who would win? See, this is why I should be running All-Star Weekend.)
92. Danny Fortson and Reggie Evans (tie)
Remember my fantasy rule that Antonio Davis and Dale Davis should be combined into one roto monster: The Uber-Davis? We need to do the same thing with Fortson and Evans; as the great John Hollinger first pointed out, if you combine their per-minute numbers, they would be having like the 12th greatest rebounding season in the history of power forwards. So let's do make this a rule for next year I want the chance to select Reganny Fortvans.
69. Bobby Simmons
Heart and soul of a Clippers team that could have won 45-50 games had they stayed healthy and/or Elgin Baylor realized you could make trades during the season. When they screw up and allow him to sign with a contender this summer where he'll thrive, by the way, because he's a good guy and the ultimate fifth banana I'm declaring war on Elgin, Donald Sterling and the entire Clippers franchise. I'm going to be like Stallone in "First Blood," when he has the knife to Brian Dennehy's throat: "You want a war? I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe."
58. Dwight Howard
Let's go to Harold Lederman's scorecard for the Okafor-Howard rivalry ...
Oh-KAY, Bill ... I have the first round scored 10-9 for Howard over Okafor ... he stayed healthy, got better as the year went along, and lemme tell you something, this guy is a specimen! I'm prepared for anything with this guy 30,000 points, 20 rebounds a game in one season, a 40-30 game, you name it! I just don't think Okafor has enough to stay with him! Back to you, Bill!