10:21 – All right, here's my task for ESPN colleague John Hollinger: Come up with a stat that quantifies how much of an offensive disaster Lindsay Hunter has been in the 2005 playoffs. Isn't there a way to combine "Number of times he dribbled the ball off his foot at midcourt," "missed open layups," "airballs," "missed wide-open 3s," "charges committed" and "passes off a teammate's face" into one giant stat? If not, there should be.

10:22 – Can you tell I'm just babbling about random stuff because this game sucks?

10:25 – Our halftime score: Pistons 37, Spurs 35. See, I told you it would be a high-scoring series! Every potential "Maybe I'll give this series a chance" casual fan has been driven away to the MTV Movie Awards, CSI and the other 450 channels that everyone gets now. Good work, fellas.

10:41 – I don't have a single interesting thing to say about the halftime show.

10:49 – The second half is under way. And just for the record, we get it, we get it – Larry Brown and Greg Popovich are good friends. Gotcha. Heard you the first 200 times. Thank God they're not kissing each other before games like Isiah and Magic did.

10:51 – Duncan misses an easy bank shot, prompting Michaels to say, "That's his money shot normally off the glass." That was nice.

10:53 – Reason No. 473 why I could never be a basketball announcer: Every time Bruce Bowen launches a jumpshot, I would scream out "Pull!"

10:56 – Man, this is ugly. We just had another charge, this time on Ben Wallace. I didn't want to do this, but it's time for a Jay Leno joke. Ready? Even Paris Hilton's credit card didn't have this many charges! Thank you, thank you! Stick around, we have John Travolta coming up right after this!

10:58 – 44-43, Spurs. This game is so offensively challenged, we just had the inevitable jumper that got stuck between the rim and the backboard (courtesy of Rasheed Wallace). You knew that was coming.

(I always thought that would have been a great ending to a bad basketball movie – guy goes for the game-winning shot, it gets stuck between the rim and the backboard, leading to the jumpball at midcourt with two seconds left, and then his teammate wins the tap and tips it to our hero ... who drains a midcourt heave at the buzzer. It would be the hoops equivalent of the double knockdown at the end of "Rocky 2.")

Richard Hamilton
Rip Hamilton saves some tread by shielding his hair from the spotlight.

11:02 – Does anyone else watch these "War of the Worlds" promos and think to themselves, "Man, I wish Tom Cruise didn't go completely insane, I think I would have really enjoyed this movie?"

11:03 – Where does Rip Hamilton still wearing the Schnozzaroo (that see-through mask to protect his face) rank among the weirdest ongoing subplots in sports that nobody brings up or even questions? Does he ever take it off? Did his broken nose take three years to heal? What if Hubie showed up for tonight's game wearing one – would you think that was weird? I'm totally confused by this.

11:05 – Duncan just pulled off a three-point play – he's pretty much taking over the game. I'd tell you how many points and rebounds he has, but let's just say that, um, I might have to log on to the internet if I want that type of information tonight.

Continued...


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