THE UNUSED QUOTES
These "Anchorman" quotes were good ones but couldn't make the cut:

"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there -- if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. [Pause] I want to be on you."

"Superduper! Superduper! That's nice. Way to go! Neato, gang!"

"Loud noises!!! Loud noises!!!!"

"I love carpet. I love desk ... I love lamp. I love lamp."

"Great Odin's Raven!"

"I have one great passion that lives deep within my loins like a flaming golden hawk."

"We have a saying in my country -- the coyote of the desert likes to eat the heart of the young and the blood drips down to his children for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

"It seems that our youngest, Chris, was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrrow into a crowd. [Pause.] You know how kids are."

"Sweet Lincoln's mullet!"

"Garth, if I was to give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?"

(More importantly, had Vince Carter known last season that he could potentially receive two paychecks for quitting on the Raptors, what would he have been capable of? Would he have just started launching 3s at his own basket? Blocking the shots of his own teammates? Showing up naked for games? Where would the line have been drawn?)

23. "I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said -- my tummy itches."

To former Cavs GM Jim Paxson again ... in yesterday's column, I mistakenly blamed Philly GM Billy King for the fact that Kevin Ollie possesses a $15 million contract right now. Actually, Paxson was the one who signed Ollie to that deal; King then traded for it the following season. So my facts were screwed up. But since I forgot to mention King signing Derrick Coleman's decomposing body to a $20 million extension three years ago, we're probably even here.

(While we're here, kudos to Steve Carell as Brick Tamlin -- normally the Token Dumb Guy is a thankless role, but he's outstanding in this movie -- good enough that I'm even thinking about seeing "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" in the theaters. Which reminds me, does he wear an A.C. Green jersey at any point in that movie? Was A.C. hired as a consultant? Has anyone written about this yet?)

24. "I mean, come on, Ed, it's bullcrap! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean, they rev my engine -- but they don't belong in the newsroom!"

To NBA TV, who keeps insisting on showing WNBA games when they could be showing classic NBA games in their place. Sure, I'm the only TiVo owner in the country who gave "NBA Hardwood Classics" the pole position spot on their TiVo season pass, but still. Throw me a bone here. I need my weekly Bird fix. I need my weekly M.J. fix. Heck, I need my weekly Gus Williams fix. Please tell me their season is ending soon. Please.

25. "It's so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice."

Anchorman
Think the Nets are sleeping like babies right now?

To the Nets, who geared their entire summer around a Shareef Abdur-Rahim sign-and-trade and found out he couldn't pass a physical. Ouch. Why not pursue Antoine Walker over Shareef? Since when has Shareef ever been on a winning team? Isn't he the quintessential "Good stats/bad team" guy of the past 10 years? And while we're here, everyone needs to settle down with the whole "The Nets could be a top-five team!" stuff. Let's get an extended look at Kidd's knees and Vince's everything before we start lumping them in with the Pistons, Pacers and Heat.

By the way, quote No. 25 cracks my list of the most underrated things about "Anchorman," along with ...

Continued...


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