By The Intern
Page 2

Yet another correction to yesterday's correction (I'm really pulling an Edmonds this week, aren't I?). Y'know, the one about Kevin Connelly of "Entourage" being a Leo DiCaprio posse member. As it turns out, Kevin Connelly is "E," the guy from "Unhappily Ever After," the guy who lost out on Nikki Cox to Bobcat Goldthwait; Kevin Connolly is Leo's flunkey. Frankly, I can't say which guy is in a worse position, but it's essentially the difference between Pamela Anderson and Pamela Sanderson. I feel bad, but you should feel worse for me. I'm the only guy on Earth that has to live in fear of Kevin Connelly with an E's posse. I'm avoiding L.A. for ten years.

Onto the links ...

NY Post (10/5) -- Another day, another story about one of Mike Tyson's bodyguards passing out on someone while they were having sex, then being accused of rape. It's almost becoming a cliche at this point. Which reminds me, you hear a lot of different horror stories in college. Conking out during a romantic encounter was pretty common (okay, not in the hallway) ...

Local 10 Miami (10/2) -- And soiling a laundry basket was known to happen from time to time (all right, it was never number two and it was never Najeh Davenport) ...

Durham Herald-Sun (10/1) -- ... But in four years, never did I hear of anything as idiotic as this. These guys make the Bradshaw/Mick Foley "Smackdown Your Vote" debate being advertised on Spike TV totally irrelevent. Then again, I'd expect nothing less from an apartment on Brewer Lane.

(I've been sitting on that Brewer Lane punch line for three years, by the way. I'm letdown. How you feelin'?)

Sports Illustrated (10/4) -- Gary Sheffield may not deserve the MVP, but no man deserves to live with Barry Bonds for two weeks. After awhile, I started to picture a Steve Martin/John Candy dynamic from "Planes, Trains and Automobiles."

LINK OF THE DAY:
KATU 10 Portland (10/5) -- It might be the start of NBA training camp, but I wouldn't count on Qyntel Woods getting his dog back. And I don't mean it the way urban culture says it. He may have his passion. He may have his fire. But literally, I just wouldn't count on him getting his dog back.


TUESDAY:
RogerEbert.com -- Notwithstanding the great writing, you'll love the comedy here, and I'm not talking about the "Some Like It Hot" review. This picture gives Jon Lovitz' reaction to Marla Hooch a run for its money. It must have been snapped right as he watched the Kathy Bates hot tub scene in "About Schmidt." You'll never see that expression again.

Yahoo! News (10/5) -- Unless, of course, you're in the room when Red Auerbach spies this photo.

The Edmonton Sun (9/15) -- Like Cynthia Nixon, it looks like Simmons' No. 81 Pats jersey can finally come out of the closet ...

The Edmonton Sun (9/23) -- And then go back in. Sorry about that. Acie Earl needed some company, anyway.

LINK OF THE DAY
ESPN.com (3/4/2002) -- Remember back in '02 when Reggie Miller said Kobe has "other issues he has to deal with" off the court? Seems like there's a lot more to that now, doesn't it? In that vein, every Tuesday we'll be going with the Classic Link of the Day. For this, aim higher than game stories; shoot for old columns and features that stick out. For every week we don't get any, we'll alternate between WNBA box scores and footage from A.C. Green's wedding night. Nobody wants that.


MONDAY:
Palm Beach Post (10/1) -- I'm betting you're not gonna find "I'm not the one buying the love" and "I knew he was a weirdo" in the big book of sports clichés (That wasn't a cliché: this book actually exists (with sound). Some great summer reading for the Duke basketball team, no doubt.)

Albany Times Union (10/1) -- Jennifer from "The Apprentice" was fired from her real job on Thursday for making comments about "two old, Jewish fat ladies" on Wednesday's show. I'm sure she'll move on to bigger, better things ... like coaching the Memphis Tigers.

eBay -- True story: Last summer Jose Canseco was offering a deal where you could hang out with him in Miami for a day for $2,500. Figuring we'd be sick of him by 2 p.m., my friend Ben and I wrote a letter offering $1,250 for half a day. When I saw this auction, it really made me wonder why we never heard back. Maybe I'll find out in his book.

(If you've got time, head to JoseCanseco.com and vote in the poll: "What are you feelings on the release of Jose's new book?" I guarantee the webmaster had to spend an hour talking him out of listing "Excited" or "Really Excited" as the choices.)

LINK OF THE DAY
CNN (9/30) -- "Gangs of New York" has a whole new meaning. I realize Jesse Spano is involved, but I seriously doubt Leo's posse could do $45 million worth of damage if you gave them a bulldozer, a flamethrower, a howitzer and a two week head start. Seriously, a $45 MILLION dollar beating? Roy Jones can't even get that kind of money.

***If you have a suggestion for "The Links," mail it to sgweeklylinks@gmail.com.***




The
Intern
LINKS OF THE DAY