By The Intern
Page 2

NBA: China 2004 -- Click "China Fun" for some gems like Mo Taylor walking around Beijing in a 2Pac shirt and Chris Webber posing with fans wearing an iPod. I put "Faaaantastic" into Altavista, then ran the Chinese characters back to English and got "Unexpected." Talk about lost in translation!

(More on that from reader Astrid Tsang, who watched the games from Jiujiang City: "I think my favorite moment was when the network put up a screen that said 'Image of the Game' -- that's right, not a 'Play of the Game,' but an 'Image.' It was just a still shot of Maurice Taylor juggling the ball and you couldn't tell at all what he was doing. My other favorite moment was during one of the timeouts. They panned the crowd and you could see about 80 percent of the audience was sitting there stone-faced. Even though it was a really close game, and the cheerleaders were jumping all over the place, and they were pumping the intro to DMX's 'What's My Name' over the speakers, you would have thought that these people were at a funeral. Oh well ... certain aspects of the game will never translate.") -- If this coin's any indication, I'd say the decision-makers in Lincoln are about a third less confident in The Callahan Era than they used to be. What's tails, Steve Spurrier? -- Around Labor Day, a reader sent in a bloody photo with this description: "One of my friends in LA sent me this pic of The Miz. I guess he was on a trampoline drunk and did a back flip into a wall. Way to go, you idiot." Easy there: this idiot could have invented the new Ladder Match.

Baseball Crank -- Weird story: I woke up around 5 a.m. today and felt like my right bicep and shoulder were being pulled apart. If this were Web MD, the entire right side of my torso would have been yellow and it would have said "Medieval Torture Rack." I was 95 percent asleep but remember thinking over and over, "The bullpen's tired. They're tired." Around 7:30 a.m., after the recycling truck drove off, I finally dozed off again, still in serious pain and now worried how I was going to pay for the doctor's appointment. I woke up at nine and it was gone. Completely gone. Yup, you could say things are tense in Boston today ...

NY Times (10/18), registration -- Apologies to the NFL Pudding Strike, but this may be the most thought-provoking article I've ever linked to. Here are mine: Personally, I'd rather pay $200 a year than have my kid play at Fruit Roll-Ups Field, because unlike Fenway Park, you don't choose to go to school. That said, for places that truly can't afford a fee, I'll admit it's better to have ads than no sports. But I think they should concealed except for people seeking them out, like the back of a church bulletin. (With Nike involved, I'm sure this will happen.)

The Lafayette Daily Advertiser (10/16) -- Daunte Culpepper scored 46.97 points in my Yahoo! League this weekend. A Louisiana high school quarterback scored 83.9 points ... in rushing. -- It's early yet, but with the amount of money raised so far ...

eBay -- These guys could buy two bites of the last hot dog sold at Olympic Stadium!

CNN (5/7/2003) -- Finally, let's call this The Joe House Redemption. Two weeks ago, I apologized for repeating a statement of his that E from "Entourage" was involved in a Jesse Spano-inspired larynx punch outside a NYC restaurant. Well, I should have known there was no way guys named Kevin Connolly and Kevin Connelly could have both been in "Drum Solo." They're the same person. Thanks to one of our friends at VH1 for clearing this up (Man, do I feel like Chris Connelly ... or is it Connolly?).

He writes: "Since I produced innumerable '100 Greatest Shocking Moments' and '100 Greatest Outrageous Celebrity Moments' shows, I can confirm that the Kevin Connolly from 'Entourage' is the same as the one from Leo's of 1998. In this article, Connolly's career is noted as 'nosedived' at the time. Oh what a difference a Adrian Grenier vehicle makes ... "

MONDAY -- A reader from Down Under is on the verge of coming here to boomerang me if I don't knock off the "Karate Kid" references, but here's definitive proof that Daniel's mom actually had a job when they moved to California, a point of contention from the last "BS Exposed." Other more troubling cut scenes: Daniel saving Ali from a rape at Golf 'N Stuff and ... ahem ... the Kai forcing Daniel-San to take a cold shower and laughing at his "incredible shrinking weenie." You think that's jarring: Check out No. 71 on Pat Morita's IMDB resume where he plays ... A "RAPE VICTIM?" Has anyone seen this?!? Is it more or less disturbing than Game Three?

Yahoo! News (10/15) -- Great news for fans of Budweiser's "Leon" ads: NBC's developing a sitcom based on "the life and family of a black sports superstar, probably a football player, who has an extra-large sense of entitlement and is often out of touch with reality." If you prefer the real thing, check out Chad's Corner. Actually, let's all add this to our favorites and pretend that I link to it every Monday.

After Ellen (10/12) -- This one's for anyone wondering why Ami wouldn't teach the "Survivor" guys how to crack coconuts. At least the Sports Gal can stop worrying about losing her husband to an ex-coffee barista at Jeff Probst's Halloween party. (And FYI, Scout's also a lesbian, though I don't think she's causing any fights outside of maybe Don Rumsfeld and the Defense Gal.)

The Salem News (10/13) -- If I were building a separate Monument Park for annoying Yankee Stadium punks, Andrew Giuliani would have a plaque, Jeffrey Maier would have a statue, and this clubhouse kid that hexed the Sox' batting helmets last week ... he'd have a shallow grave.

LINK OF THE DAY: -- In case you were doing anything other than watching "Crossfire" last Friday afternoon, you need to see Jon Stewart's complete annihilation of the hosts, the show, the U.S. media, bow ties, dancing monkeys ... you name it. Here's the link to the transcript and the video clip. Says a friend who works at CNN: "It'll make you laugh, cringe, and everything else in between." Like every Denis Leary sex scene from "Rescue Me."

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