By The Intern
Page 2

The (Westchester) Journal News (10/26) -- In one day, we've got Willis Reed expressing his admiration for Curt Schilling and Schilling expressing his admiration for Simmons. I might as well express my admiration for the Gestapo member that cross checked me from behind with a baton Wednesday night for walking off the curb.

(Yeah, I'm sorry Mom, but I caved and went to Fenway after the game. I was supposed to meet another friend at the Cask and Flagon; I was at Jillian's. It's a two minute walk, but unfortunately Lansdown Street was split in half by riot police and EVERY route there was closed. The overheard view of me trying to get there would have looked like one of those "Family Circus" comic strips where Billy gets sent off to get the newspaper and takes four hours. All that was missing was me going down a playground slide and hanging out in a hollowed-out log with a badger.)

Fedorov Brothers.com -- Looks like Sergei's spending the NHL lockout pretending to be married (not to Anna, and despite the bathrobe picture, not to his brother). I was sad that two Russian pop stars involved weren't the two who got famous by pretending to be lesbians back in '02. But a mitigating factor: their record label is owned by Dr. Henry Jones. At least now I know why I've been waiting for 15 years for "Indiana Jones 4."

NY Times (10/28) -- "The first time I ever did this bus was for the Chino Hills Bulldogs," Big Slice explains, referring to an earlier Snoop football squad. "Snoop called me, like, 2 o'clock in the morning, talking about 'I need a bus,' and this was right when he stopped smoking weed. So I'm like, 'Oh my God, he back on it.' But then I hung up, and he called back and said, 'I'm serious, I need a bus.' For New York Times comedy, this puts "Mr. Bin Laden" to shame. I never would have thought something being passed around Snoop's bus would only be an xbox controller.

Voices of Iraq -- Here's a change-up. Two ex-MTV producers teamed up with an actor/Gulf War vet to distribute more than 150 digital video cameras across Iraq, then made a documentary out of what came back. One caveat: The man who told me about this also told me "The Benefactor has great characters. It has great drama and intensity." That's a betrayal on the level of "Hey ... let's go see 'Summer of Sam'!" which has me reeling five years later.

NY Times (10/28), registration -- There's a problem with ticket sales when the term "honest scalpers" comes into play. I really like the idea of kiosks outside stadiums. Though I don't think it would solve counterfeiting, at least I wouldn't be buying Sox tickets from someone in Dover.

Candace Cameron Bure.net -- Kirk's sister thinks you're going to hell, too. I didn't take the "Are You A Good Person?" test. Is "Do you enjoy Bob Sagat's stand-up?" is on there?

Fox Sports (10/28) -- Bill Buckner says he doesn't want forgiveness for '86. Do you blame him? It's like that exchange in "Almost Famous" when Anita finally comes home. "I forgive you!" ... "Um ... I didn't apologize." Is there enough fly-fishing line in Idaho to strangle these idiots?

eBay -- For $2004, you could have joined P Diddy's "Vote or Die" death squad on election day. Too bad the deadline passed Thursday. You can hate me now ... but I won't stop now ... 'cause I can't stop now ... 'cause there's one more link I need to write now ...

LINK OF THE DAY:
Who Is Dan.com -- In honor of Halloween, one last potential "Karate Kid" deleted scene: when Daniel spends three full days working on his costume. I'm invited to a Halloween party on Saturday night and I still haven't decided what to wear. I'm getting desperate. My latest idea: Hooded sweatshirt, check. Murder Ones, check. Haven't shaved for a few days. Yeah, this desperate.


The ALS Association -- Forget the hustlers outside Fenway. Head here for your official Red Sox "Why Not Us?" t-shirts, the proceeds of which benefit Lou Gehrig's Disease research. Or for an equally worthy cause, you can get the shirts at The Curt and Shonda Schilling Melanoma Foundation, which represents something very near and dear to me ... staying in the shade.

Seattle Times (10/26) -- Not to be overshadowed by the Pierce-LeBron mini-confrontation in Columbus last night, it's the Kobe-Ray Allen non-confrontation in San Diego. Keep an eye on this one. The more Kobe gets ripped, the more he morphs into Alonzo from "Training Day." "You KNOW I'm surgical with this crossover, Ray!!!"

NY Post (10/26) -- As reader John Lamarca put it: "the link that just won't die." Good to know that Paris Hilton and Mark Philippoussis have split ... and that Kevin Connolly and Leo DiCaprio are back together! How random is it that DiCaprio is hanging out with Pete Sampras? When you're a celebrity and you go to Vegas, is it law that you have to enter a lottery to determine who you hang out with? "Okaaay, Danny Glover ... you'll be spotted at "Zumanity" tonight with Billy Wagner and Mandy Moore." I don't get it.

eBay -- Every once in awhile, somebody will write in saying that they want this job. Coming up with $2,500 by 9:13 p.m. would probably do it.

KATU Portland (10/26) -- Uh oh. Qyntel's dawgs got him in trouble again. Woods, Zach Randolph and five others are accused of assaulting a witness in his animal abuse case. To be fair, the Blazers' own private investigators say there's no story. Nothing quite like wondering who these shady detectives are, then running a Google search and instantly finding a story about them. It was like Googling the winning Mega Millions numbers.

Snopes -- An interesting trend: the outcome of every presidential election since 1932 has jived with the outcome of the last Redskins home game before the vote. Another interesting trend: the candidate who called it "Lambert Field" is behind in Wisconsin.

CLASSIC OF THE DAY:
Red Sox Connection (10/9/2003) -- It kind of puts it in perspective to think that when the Sox last won a World Series, this man could buy a beer to celebrate ... and for thirteen years after that, nobody in America could. Yes, I'd say it's about time.


Stacy Rotner.com -- If Rick Pitino isn't walking through that door at your next corporate event, how about Stacy from "The Apprentice"? I'm sure "Don't Take No For An Answer" would be worth hearing, considering how well it worked out with the dog costumes. You could also get "Dating Tips for Young Professionals." I'm guessing "Don't take no for an answer" is one of them.

E! Online (10/24) -- As a result of a clogged toilet, an insurance company is after Lenny Kravtiz for $333,849.77. How is this even possible? The first night of college, my suitemate passed out in the shower, causing four floors of water damage. A van pulled up with a huge hose that sucked water out of the building all day, and it only cost three grand worth of damage. Who's handling the reconstruction of this apartment, Halliburton?

Daily Telegraph (10/24) -- Mark Philippoussis, fresh off four hours of surfing, tells the media, "If you look after me, I will look after you." Did his use this line on Paris Hilton?

Rocky Mountain News (10/22) -- Carmelo Anthony, fresh off a marijuana misdemeanor, tells the media, "Damn, it's not a murder case." This is what happens when you with associate with guys named Slim. When I studied in Italy, I got a cell phone and there was only one number programmed in: Slim. Two weeks later, a guy in a Yankees coat tried to sell me hashish outside a cathedral. His name was Slim. There's no connection here, but I just wanted to feel like J Peterman for a minute.

LINK OF THE DAY:
Yahoo! News (10/24)

-- "What can I say folks? Live TV!" Um, no, not exactly, Jude. It's frustrating to think 15 years ago, Ashlee Simpson's career could have been ruined by this. Now she's singing live again tonight. I haven't found a clip of this on any site I'm allowed to link to, but I'll keep looking. The "exaggerated hopping dance moves" are all they're cracked up to be. All that's missing is Jimmy Fallon on guitar, biting his lip.

***If you have a suggestion for "The Links," mail it to sgweeklylinks@gmail.com.***




The
Intern
LINKS OF THE DAY