Boston Globe (11/2) -- The Red Sox might not have taken sips of Jack Daniel's during the playoffs after all. I say, so what if they did? I've seen David Ortiz bartend for charity. Believe me, a swig of Jack affects him about the same as a sunflower seed.
St. Paul Pioneer-Press (11/2), registration -- The best steak I ever had was the porterhouse at the Denver Chop House and Brewery. On Latrell Sprewell's salary this year before taxes, Aquilla, Sher, Page, Latrell II, Ray and Billy could eat that sucker three times day until mid-December 2078. Or they could eat a big bag of Brach's candy corn, my lunch today, until mid-December ... 3121. I feel sick ... and it's not the candy corn.
NY Times (11/1), registration -- It's insane the sacrifices the boxers on "The Contender" have to make before they even get to the show. How's this sound? I will now permit, with no legal recourse, Mark Burnett to portray me by using potentially "personal, private, surprising, defamatory, disparaging, embarrassing or unfavorable" information. I think I'd rather light myself on fire.
Eastbay -- Here's a $65,000 Allen Iverson Question that isn't "Why is your elbow brace bigger than your head?" Latrell's salary could buy this every day until June 13, by the way.
CLASSIC LINK OF THE DAY:
Million Dollar Man.com (cheesy music, over-the-top laughter) -- Check out the newsletter about the reunion of two old partners who hadn't spoken in seven years. And if you're wondering, the plate glass window incident happened in January 1992. You picked a president today. I found that out.
MSNBC (10/29) -- An expose on the sloppy and disingenuous (but completely noticeable) dubbing at the end of "The Apprentice." When you interview with Donald Trump, does he let you call back with all the brilliant things you should have said? At least when George Costanza blew it in the board room, he flew out to Ohio and started wolfing down shrimp. Completely pathetic ... now let me say it slower and louder ... COM-PLETE-LY PA-THE-TIC.
(George, his wife's in a coma!)
(Had to write that.)
Orlando Sun-Sentinel (10/29) -- Danny Forston is suing the NY Post's Peter Vecsey for calling him a thug. You can bet John Franco is watching this. And security cameras are watching Braden Looper's house.
Washington Post (10/28), registration; ESPN (10/28) -- Their star leaves with depression, the Washington Mystics make the WNBA playoffs for the first time in four years. Still, I still say we reserve "The Holdsclaw Theory" for things like Michael Strahan's sack record and Randy Moss' consecutive games streak.
Boston Globe (10/31) -- Leigh Montville with a terrific column on the impossible becoming possible in Boston. This could go on and on. I went to Harvard ... for brunch ... with Natalie Portman. I swam for an hour at the West End House Boys and Girls Club. I finally reached the end of "Kung Fu" for Nintendo, then treated the bouncer at The Purple Shamrock like Mr. X ...
LINK OF THE DAY:
Yahoo! News (11/1) -- ... I blasted R Kelly with pepper spray and kicked him off my tour. Okay, that wasn't me. But who gets to release "I Can't See ... Out My Eye", Jay-Z or Weird Al?
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