By The Intern
Page 2

NY Daily News (11/5) -- From the ad wizards at Akademiks: "Read books. Get brain." I always wondered why they called Shawn Kemp "The Reign Man." Now I know.

Esquire (11/4) -- We've got a Ricky Williams (or as Simmons called him, Mr. T Jr.) sighting in the Australian Outback. You've got to subscribe to Esquire to read the entire story, but for $8.00 a year, believe me it's worth it. (Especially when you get the free "Women We Love" playing cards. Probably your only chance of seeing Heather Locklear and Nicole Eggert on your dining room table ... unless Scott Baio's a links fan.)

KATU 2 Portland (11/6) -- This week on "ASPCA: Oswego Lake": treadmills and a new slant on the phrase "my dogs are hurtin'." Made me a take a second look at Qyntel's bio: "More importantly, 'He's a good kid. I've met him and talked with his family, and he may not have taken the usual course to the NBA, but he's a good kid.'" Who wrote this, his guidance counselor?

Pittsburgh Post Gazette (11/8) -- Sadly, 'Polamalu' and 'von Oelhoffen' are probably no-brainers for this kid.

Houston Chronicle (11/6) -- Calvin Murphy's sexual assault trial got under way Friday, and the prosecutor had this to say: "It's going to be confusing. You are going to need charts. We're going to help you with family trees and so forth." I'm sure that was a load off his mind.

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