By The Intern
Page 2

Cold Hard Football Facts (1/7) -- Turns out the Brady-Manning debate ends like Ali-Liston debate. Ouch. And before you Indy people get all hostile at me, I used to wear an Edge James jersey to high school gym class. I'm just the messenger.

Florida Today (1/17) -- If $50,000 is really all it would take to get Ted Williams out of Alcor, I'll tell you what. I'll get this lawyer's e-mail address by the end of the week. If you want to contribute, e-mail me and I'll put you in touch with him. Again (and ESPECIALLY on this one), I'm just the messenger. But for the cost of two beers at Fenway, I'd be willing to throw down 10 bucks and let it ride. -- Could you imagine showing this toy to a three-year-old? Luckily, "Star Wars" is involved, so the chance of three-year-olds crashes like ... help me out ... Boba Fett into the side of that ship in Episode Six. Besides, if there are any three-year-olds, after a few Halloweens as an Ewok, the scarring has probably run its course. -- Says reader Ba Orao, "I guess full-body costume roles like these two are few and far between." Nice find. Personally, my favorite diminutive actor is still Warwick Davis of "Willow" and "Leprechaun in The Hood." "Give me the gold, you thieving hoods. You got more loot than Tiger Woods!" Suge Knight couldn't scowl at that one.

BBC (12/10/98) -- Overheard on the Simmons family vacation to South Africa: "Criminal, I will now light you on fire."

Cleveland Plain Dealer (1/13) -- So the Tramp Trial ended in Cleveland last week. I guess there was more important stuff going on, like salary timers. In the first story, Jeff Garcia makes a bizarre crane kick reference. In this second one, the prosecutor plays the "rat" card, plus there's a slide show, which must have been titalating to put together. "I want to know a little more about this DeCesare girl. Let's dig up some old file photos!"

Slate (1/13) -- Often, headlines are more pointed than columns themselves. Stuff like "Why you don't want to be like Mike" and "A basketball legend's soulless retirement caps his soulless career". But that's essentially what Charles P. Pierce's take is.

Look, I'm as tired of the Jordan corporate brand as anybody. (Though there's still plenty of time for him to spread the wealth. Pierce would have you picture him alone, slumped over in a chair in Sicily with the credits rolling.) But here's what got me. Pierce asks, "Has anyone so completely dominated his sport and left so small a mark upon it?" You mean, like, an entire generation of players trying to take over games, take the last shot, get on posters, get on "SportsCenter"? Say MJ's impacted hoops negatively if you want, but if he hasn't changed the game, who has?

CNN (1/14) -- You won't believe what our president calls Russia's. I'm not saying we deserved to be attacked outright for this, but maybe one of those "Sum of All Fears", Where-the-heck-did-it-go?-type nukes. The man's a leader, not a lapdog.

New -- Speaking of weapons, good to know The Son Of Exploding Cigars has found a job at the defense department. My weapon of choice, as always, remains the steak bomb.

LINK OF THE DAY: (sound) -- The Esiason-Marino exchange from Sunday's CBS post-game. In terms of explosiveness, it's not Jim Rome-Chris Everett. In terms of awkwardness, it's not Jon Stewart on "Crossfire." But if Greg Gumbel hadn't changed the subject, it could have been both. Broken down a little more, Esiason doesn't come off as such a bad guy. A deceivingly average quarterback, maybe. Not a bad guy.

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