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eBay.com (John R.) – How can you put a price on this towel? When the aliens come to destroy Earth and rescue the chosen ones, this blue towel will be my ticket out of here. Just imagine that spaceship ride – Tommy Boy, Katie, Johnny T., Dharma, all the other Scientology wackos, and yours truly. Let the good times roll!

CNN.com – "Cinderella Man" is now offering a money-back guarantee, although refunds will be handled on a "case-by-case" basis. Can you imagine some of those cases?

Movie Patron: "I'm disappointed. Now give me my money back."
Manager: "You're lying."
Movie Patron: "How DARE you question my sincerity."
Manager: "You shadow-boxed all the way over here."
Movie Patron: (long pause) "You haven't seen the last of me ... "

detnews.com – There are a variety of ways that fathers and sons can bond: a day on the golf course, fishing trips, annual NBA Draft viewings, playing for the Mariners, randomly attacking first-base coaches, etc., etc. Thanks to the Hearns' though, we can now add "boxing on the same card" to that list.

By the way, the only way I watch this fight is if The Hitman takes on Kendall Gill, who is apparently the second coming of Iron Mike (foxsports.com).

imdb.com (Rob) – Shouldn't there have been more made over Hench giving birth? (look under "spouse").

evilzero (Shaun T.) – One mention of "Newsradio" and an army of devoted fans emerge with e-mails, including a link to this must-see site for any fan of the show. I suggest exploring all the character quotes, but if you've got places to go and people to see, allow me to direct you straight to Bill McNeal (evilzero.com).


WEDNESDAY
Good to be back in the office ... the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the Hawks have MARVIN WILLIAMS! I still think Chris Paul would have been perfect, but I've got no complaints here.

Speaking of that, thanks for showing me something, Billy. Not only am I cool with the Marvin pick, but I really like the Salim Stoudamire gamble at the top of the second round.

Also, one correction from my Hawks article – I mentioned the fixed dunk contest between 'Nique and Jordan in '87, when clearly I meant '88. Inexcusable.

woai.com (Andrew S.) – Tony Parker raps in French after Game 7. Allow me to translate:

"I battle any sex or any race,
You beating me is like Billy Crystal playin' Scarface.
You can't see it, I'm blind to the eyes,
I'm all up in your face, OOPS-POW SURPRISE!
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

boston.com – Russian President Vladimir Putin pockets Patriots owner Robert Kraft's Super Bowl ring, then nonchalantly walks away while calmly whistling. Kleptomaniacs everywhere rejoice.

(Anyone else laughing at the thought of Dana Carvey's klepto character from "Trapped in Paradise," or is that just me?)

cnn.com – Bear with me, I have to get this off my chest:

Will, I know your heart is in the right place here, but if you're looking for a reason why your album sales are so low, I've got the answer – you're not a talented rapper. You've got an excellent point about the positives of looking up to someone like Mos Def rather than the gangbanger genre, but don't undermine the credibility of your argument by throwing yourself in the mix. Put on any Mos Def track and then follow with any one of your own – it's not even close. Even as an A-list actor, I think you're underappreciated. But as a rapper? Come on, man. Don't be the whiny guy rationalizing why it's someone else's fault that your record sales are low. You're better than that.

Continued...


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