Although there is a silent rage boiling inside of me right now, I will reserve comment on the Joe Johnson drama until more is known on the situation. I am fairly certain that a particular egomaniacal owner is about to become Public Enemy No. 1 of the Daily Links, but you don't just recklessly assign a title like that. There must be no doubt.

Instead, I would like to mention dreams really do come true. That's right. Yesterday, I spent a five-hour plane ride stuck next to a drop-dead gorgeous Australian model ... who was friendly and interesting. I'm still not convinced I didn't imagine the entire thing, and I have no explanation as to why she was flying coach. At one point, while I was holding a copy of "Esquire," I kept waiting for her to say, "Check out page 72 ... yeah, that body paint took FOREVER to get off."

The fact that my fantasy involved a loose reenactment of a scene from "Seinfeld" is disturbing, to say the least. But I ain't sweatin' it. Greatest flight of my life.

ESPN.com -- A prankster has been calling in false reports that Jason Giambi is on the juice again. Media outlets should have been suspicious upon hearing, "Giambi's 'roiding it up ... also, is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it. HAHAHAHA!

nydailynews.com -- Gary Sheffield hates on his teammates and stands up for the rights of players' wives to have social gatherings.

contactmusic.com -- Tommy Lee, a man devoted to his craft.

buffalonews.com (Michael L.) -- Look, I'm the most over-the-top hero worshipper there is. I'm convinced that Kenny Anderson could have once dribbled a basketball to the top of Mount Everest and that Michael Vick could solve world hunger if he set his mind to it. But even I'll say that J.P. Losman went too far in his comments on Brett Favre (third paragraph). There is just no way to speak of another man's "tight little shorts" and not have an eyebrow or two raised in return.

thestar.com -- The Mighty Casey strikes out.

THURSDAY
suntimes.com -- Within twenty-four hours of the Rafael Palmeiro bombshell, Jose Canseco announced the impending release of his second book. Tentative title is "How you like me now, Mustachio Man?"

yahoo.com (William K.) -- WNBA players Becky Hammon and Margo Dydek use a missed jumper as opportunity to reenact the Finch/Patrick photo (imdb.com). Fans don't get it, dismiss it as "too artsy."

cnn.com -- RIP "Chappelle's Show" (2003-2005).

femalefirst.co.uk (Christopher L.) -- Who is the most important man in America right now? Dubyah? Greenspan? Brian Billick? Not even close. It's personal trainer Justin Gelband.

yahoo.com -- What you don't see during LeBron's little show is the boombox in the background blaring Donna Summer's "She works hard for the money." Also, make sure to check out the facial reaction of the guy in the bottom left-hand corner. You'd have thought Dr. J just dunked from the free-throw line.

WEDNESDAY
A cautionary tale ...

Until yesterday, I had never suffered through a particularly bad experience at the DMV, a feat that is roughly equivalent to finding oneself a thirty-five year old virgin. However, armed with horror stories about entire afternoons spent in cramped misery, I thought that I was prepared for anything. But that's like saying that an episode of "Oz" can prepare you for jail. Nothing could have ever prepared me for this ...

Continued...