For the record, the Tom Cruise story I linked to yesterday is different from the one up there now. Outrageous conspiracy theories are being developed as I type this.

mcsweeneys.net (Mike G.) -- Understanding the Seattle Supersonics by Comparing Them to Girls You May Have Dated in College. Sometimes the links speak for themselves.

enquirer.com -- Nick Lachey on the firing of Bob Huggins. I'll fault him for being a cheesy musician, but not for being a loyal sports fan. So I'm cool with this. But if I've got ties to Cincy, I'm starting to worry about it becoming "The Home of Nick Lachey." Sort of like Australians with Paul Hogan during the Crocodile Dundee Era.

polandspring-rivalry.com (Jim in Boston) -- This hardly seems fair. Cute girl or the fat guy? Cute girl or the fat guy? Cute girl or ... screw it, I VOTE FOR THE CUTE GIRL!

espn.com (Adam S. in Atlanta) -- Yes, this makes complete sense. It should be the kid who was peer-pressured by his athletic heroes that gets punished, not the grown up who offered financial gain to a batboy if he tried to down a gallon of milk in an hour. Actually, check that, all parties should be praised for this.

dailynews.com -- The Milton Bradley vs. Jeff Kent feud may be coming to a premature close, which is sad. Whenever a stubborn hot-head with a sweet 'stache gets pitted against a completely raving lunatic, all bets are off. This could have easily escalated to Milton refusing to leave third on a Jeff Kent double, followed by the first-ever on-the-basepath fight between teammates.

yahoo.com (Matt S.) -- Setting -- Pam Anderson on a beach in Malibu, presiding over the wedding of her two dogs. Enter Ali G. on an inflatable turtle raft. And ... SCENE!

WEDNESDAY
atlanta.braves.mlb.com -- It's a day late, but I'd like to wish Julio Franco a happy 47th birthday. This guy is the greatest. When asked to respond to accusations of steroid use being the secret to his ageless success, Franco flatly denied them, instead proclaiming, "I'm juiced on Jesus!" He's also the only player I've ever seen use a Christian rock ballad for his at-bat entrance music. When it comes 'round to me on Thanksgiving this year, I think I'll be most thankful for Julio Franco.

post-gazette.com -- We're about two years from having tear-filled press conferences where players discuss controversial Madden rankings.

milkandcookies.com -- I was reminded of the Neil Diamond Storytellers sketch yesterday, and realized how totally inexcusable it is to have never posted it. Problem solved.

joshwaitzkin.com (Ben K.) -- The real-life "Searching for Bobby Fisher" kid is all grown up ... and he can beat the living crap out of you.

auction.mlb.com (Jeff F.) -- Auction for a Zach Duke painting. I really don't want to hate on another man's art, but what the hell is that? Maybe it's priceless up close, but from afar it looks like Zach is showing off something he painted during "Art" in first-grade.

toronto.fashion-monitor.com (Chris M.) -- A Tom Cruise link ... for old time's sake. What's great about this one is that split-second where you wonder if the story is real (clearly it's not). In fact, this should be a game show. Show a ridiculous quote, and then have contestants decide whether it was said by (a) Tom Cruise, (b) Gary Busey, or (c) the imaginary talking kangaroo. Obviously, we'll call the show -- "Imaginary Talking Kangaroo." And I've officially lost my mind.

Continued...