msn.com (Angie S.) -- If you're going to wear a shirt like this, then what's the point of even putting on clothes? Jose Canseco should just start showing up everywhere stark naked. Unbelievable.

mlblogs.com (Tucker from Chicago) -- After years of torturous taunting, the Philly Phanatic has finally driven Tommy Lasorda to insanity. I picture the Phanatic reading this in the comfort of his living room, leaning back with a self-satisfied smile and dramatically puffing on a cigar.

seattletimes.nwsource.com -- Some guy runs onto Safeco Field to make good on a promise to his late mother. Not only was he willing to sacrifice for his family, but he's got a sense of humor -- he was carrying a Monopoly "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

torontosun.com -- Players begin responding negatively to Raptors GM Rob Babcock's less than inspirational comments. That is, except for forward Matt Bonner, who believes the team will go 82-0. I'd like to point out that this man attended the University of Florida.

chron.com -- Kenny Smith discusses the star-studded charity basketball game he organized for Katrina victims and his motivation behind it.

newsobserver.com (Adam S. in Atlanta; note -- immediate sound) -- A cartoon of N.C. State head football coach Chuck Amato as Napolean Dynamite. Pretty funny if you're familiar with his ridiculous sunglasses and testosterone-filled mannerisms.

THURSDAY
bigmikewilliams.com (Brian S.) -- This is the "Big Mike Williams" website, allegedly done by the same guy that did the incredibly modest Pete Carroll one that Simmons linked to yesterday (petecarroll.com). My question is: How much does this guy charge? 'Cause I want my own. There would be shots of me playing pickup basketball, confidently making fantasy draft selections, doing sit-ups in some random person's driveway, and then proudly holding an American flag. This would, of course, all be set to James Brown's "Super Bad." And I've said too much again.

tsn.ca -- I think that these statements by Raptors GM Rob Babcock might actually be worse than the Rafael Araujo pick. I imagine he was wearing a brown paper bag over his head when he said this.

snltranscripts.jt.org -- Here's the transcript from the Mike Myers/Heather Locklear skit that Simmons also mentioned yesterday. Or, as reader Harris W. calls it, "The Kanye Prophecy."

calendarlive.com (Tom C. in Westlake Village, CA) -- Jose Canseco wants to be an action star, and apparently has a demo tape to prove it (I would sell my soul to see this). But that's just the opening act. The real story is Jose's new manager, who miraculously seems to be even crazier than Jose. Also, make sure to look for the completely random Steven Seagal/prison visit/mafia protection story in here. Great article.

compfused.com (Tom W.) -- I thought "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" was my favorite film of the past two years. Then I saw "The Urban Ninja." If they know what's good for them, members of the Academy will recognize this short film for its comedic genius and visionary storytelling. Honestly, there is no praise that I can heap upon this that would be unwarranted.

Continued...