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Although something told me that the Hassle the Hoff link from yesterday was too good to be true, I was blinded by greed. Kind of like "Boiler Room," except substitute a rapping Knight Rider for a fraudulent brokerage firm. Actually, it's nothing like "Boiler Room" at all. Point is -- the story was a complete hoax. My bad.

yale.edu (Stephen S.) -- New Haven, CT. 4:30. Keynote address by one Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacque Wamutombo. Be there.

joesportsfan.com (Jason J.) -- Finally, the perfect use for old, worthless baseball cards. My personal favorite is Steve Swisher (last card) -- "After this picture was taken, Steve Swisher made love to the Topps camera woman." Honorable mention goes to John Henry Johnson and Glenn Wilson.

abclocal.go.com -- An impromptu dance-off leads to a fifty-person rumble. The lesson -- never show up to a dance contest without a razor blade.

espn.com -- Braves' rookies reenact that "To Wong Foo" movie (I refuse to type out the full title) while at the airport, although the caption says they were just being hazed. Agree to disagree.

41.cc (Josh in Dallas) -- In an offshoot of the brilliant Vin Diesel site, I give you "The Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator." For example: "Chuck Norris once talked in his sleep. The words he said were recorded in a classified government document and sent straight to the president. The No Child Left Behind Act stems from this document."

ebay.com (Ted F.) -- I bet that right now you're thinking, "If Ian Ziering designed an envelope, what would it look like?" Well, ponder no more. And now I shall cause all the female readers to begin violently twitching (ebay.com).


TUESDAY
agdomain.net (Owen R.) -- Bio of American Gladiator "Nitro." I picked this one for the great Q&A near the bottom, but if you click on "home," you can look up every gladiator in existence. I feel sorry for those of you that didn't get to grow up watching the most ridiculously awesome show in television history. Imagine yourself as an 8 year-old taught that "cool" means having a fluffed mullet, tight spandex, and a giant sphere to roll around in.

medicalhairrestoration.com (William B.) -- Wade Boggs: Lifetime .328 hitter; Hall-of-Famer; Equestrian; Shameless hair replacement spokesman.

reuters.com (Karl in Salt Lake City) -- Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I find this story absolutely hilarious. Some bumbling Australian man created so much static electricity with his woolen shirt and synthetic nylon jacket that he accidentally set fire to a building's carpet. It helps if you can picture a highly unfashionable Michael Olowokandi.

ananova.com -- Oh my God ...

therealrandymoss.com (Ty H.) -- The Randy Moss mask. I actually ignored this last week, but then I took a closer look and realized it's from his official site. I can't believe he ok'd this. Further, I mandate that we all wear one during the Code Red on Culpepper.

contactmusic.com (Scott B. in Toronto) -- Years from now, I look forward to boring my future kids with tales of the greats from my day. I'll go on and on about Jordan, Elway, Woods, and then, once they reach a certain age, I'll finally tell them of the Legend of Charlie Sheen -- ultimate bachelor, incredibly candid interviewee, and the one man who necessitated an intervention FROM Slash. Speaking of Charlie, here's one that might hit just a little too close to home for some of you -- sfgate.com (Steve C. in San Francisco; scroll up).

Continued...


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