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rogerebert.com (Aron B.) '' I can't believe it took me so long to appreciate the wonder that is the Roger Ebert bad review. For this one, our hero all but declares war on Jenny McCarthy.

cnn.com -- They're making an OC video game. Anyone who buys this should be denied the right to vote, because clearly they're insane. Video games are about winning and losing, sometimes even causing severe psychological damage to your opponent if it's a particularly dramatic victory. This game sounds like the polar opposite of that.

blog.lib.umn.edu (David S.) -- Everyone needs a cause, and this man's cause is former Winona St. (Division II) wide receiver Chris Samp. After dedicating himself to the Chris Samp Heisman campaign last year, he has continued to follow Samp as a free-agent Eagles signee. Do yourself a favor and scroll down to the April 4th and 6th entries.

dallasbasketball.com (Jeffrey D.) -- Scroll down to the Doug Christie update and note how the Mavs plan to be "sensitive to [Jackie's] needs," only allowing male PR staffers to work with Doug. I wonder if you can legally defect from another person.

newyorkmetro.com -- Novel-length feature article on Conan O'Brien, but if you have a spare three hours to kill, it's a good read. There's a completely random mentioning of a simmering feud with Jon Stewart, but my favorite tidbit was learning that he responds to constant shouts of "Hello, Conan!" by making up nonsense nicknames like "Hello, Chopper." That's why he's Conan O'Brien and you're not.


MONDAY
Let's get straight to the point: With apologies to The Icky Shuffle, Donovan's Moonwalk, the Burger King's Deion, and T.O.'s dead-on Ray Lewis impression, Chad Johnson's Riverdance yesterday was the greatest touchdown celebration of all-time. That was nothing short of a revelation.

mtv.com -- Not only is Talan from "Laguna Beach" making an album, but I think this press release was specifically designed to make my head explode. I just learned that the reality television star has a new hairstyle to go with his "rocker" image, is recruiting Paris Hilton's music producers, and wants to "get a rapper on a rock song or something crazy like that" because "music is pushing boundaries." I will never get that minute and a half of my life back, and unless you can resist temptation, neither will you.

seattletimes.com (John K. in Kirkland, WA) -- The 10 Greatest Moments in Baseball Superstition History. adly, no mention of the time Eddie Harris crossed Jobu.

detnews.com (James S.) -- A little part of division managers everywhere just died ...

sun-sentinel.com -- Serious question: Can a defensive back say anything beyond "scoreboard" after getting lit up for 170 yards and three touchdowns? According to Sam Madison, the answer is a resounding "yes." Pick your battles, Sam.

onehorseshy.com (Brian M.) -- It looks like Jason Priestley is strapped for cash.

yahoo.com -- I can think of only one man evil enough to read this and still not like Charlie Weis. That man is Fred Savage.

Continued...


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