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comedycentral.com (Nicholas U.) -- A belligerently drunk Steve-O (link is on the right) wreaks havoc on "Too Late with Adam Corolla." Fortunately, Carolla's instinctive "Geraldo gear" kicked in just in time.

sun-sentinel.com -- Steve Smith calls it quits. Don't sleep on Steve's legacy. A budding superstar before his knees got the better of him, Steve turned himself into a three-point marksman with a sneaky game, including the best baseline hesitation move I've ever seen, a hilarious "old-man shuffle" back downcourt after made baskets, and Warrick Dunn-like humanitarianism. Respect.

angryalien.com (Chuck P.) -- Language prevents me from linking to a lot of these strangely fascinating 30 second clips, but here you can watch animated bunnies reenact "Highlander." Feel free to forget this link ever happened.

nytimes.com (registration required) -- Come up with the worst person you can think of. Now imagine if this person looked like Marky Mark crossed with Jason Giambi. Finally, throw in a British accent and a winning lottery ticket.

rogerebert.suntimes.com (Drew M.) -- This time Roger Ebert spews unfiltered hate at "North." I wish that I could just tag-in Roger whenever righteous anger begins brewing inside of me. Trapped in five minutes of phony small-talk with one of those haughty, "My life is a self-entitled play" types? Just tap in Roger. "Wipe that disingenuous smile off your face, you clueless, excessive shoulder-grabbing, two-faced fraud! You are the armpit of humanity!" As Phony Guy looks at me in stunned horror, I'd give a quick shoulder shrug and subtly tilt my head at Roger, who would defiantly march away.


THURSDAY
Sorry about the Roy Firestone tease yesterday (we shut the site down). Actually, I'm not sorry at all. I'm swelling with pride. I do, however, suggest checking it out once it's up and running again. It's unbelievable.

newsobserver.com (Carl T. in Raleigh, NC) -- Edited transcript from a very strange Q&A with N.C. State head football coach Chuck Amato. He comes off like a nonsensical philosopher repeating himself more than Jimmy Two Times. He also assures us that he's "the man."

chicagorush.com (Matt G.) -- Not sure if Ditka's new mascot is the epitome of blue-collar or one of the Village People.

slate.com -- Judd Apatow, writer/director of "The 40 Year Old Virgin," briefly discusses his new film (Will Ferrell as a NASCAR driver) before going into an unbelievably cool Stones story.

abc.net -- Speaking of the Stones, a Mick Jagger look-alike recently got VIP treatment at a gullible New York nightspot. And now I will give my Rod Stewart story:

During a college Spring Break in the Bahamas, I wound up at a random beach party thrown by some neighboring hotel. At this party was a man who looked very similar to Rod Stewart. He had dark sunglasses on and was barricaded by a group of handlers, but rumor had it that it was Rod, freshly arrived via his private yacht. Next thing I know, "Rod" is on stage judging a wholesome, competitive contest for young women. I decided the man was a complete fraud. But later in the night, my friend starts excitedly telling us that he just peed next to "Rod" in the bathroom and successfully tested him with obscure questions about "The Faces." To this day, he swears that it was the real Rod Stewart. I'm convinced he had a drunken "Billy Madison and the Penguin" moment.

Continued...


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