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I think that I have serious commitment issues. But not in that way. I'm talking about my commitment to intros for The Links. For instance, just this morning, I debated the following options:

• The near-perfection of "True Romance" until it's ridiculously over-the-top ending ("There's one thing I never told you ... I HATE COPS!").

• My appreciation for Chuck Klosterman's logic on why he runs. To paraphrase from his most recent book, he runs everyday so that he can guiltlessly live an otherwise unhealthy lifestyle. I dig this line of thinking.

• My gigantic pet peeve with listening to announcers slowly figure out what actually happened on an extremely obvious play. It's like listening to someone start telling a painfully boring story that you've heard a million times but are helpless to stop said person from retelling.

• A hilarious 99X (local radio station) interview with Brian Austin Green that I recently heard.

But did I write about any of these? No, and that's because whenever I tried to settle on one topic, my thoughts would invariably wander to why another is better (I suffer from a paralyzing "grass is greener" complex). In fact, sometimes I think I'd be better off if I was just randomly assigned intros. If I was told to write 250 words on the durability of my desk, it would most likely be incredibly boring, but at least I'd retain my sanity, and you just can't put a price on stuff like that. So in case you ever wondered, these are the things you think about (or at least I do) when suddenly put in a situation where thousands of people actually read your inane thoughts. I'm still not quite used to it.

Like you, I have absolutely no idea what the point of this was. -- A wealthy businessman and "stripper enthusiast," charged $241,000 during one wild night at Scores, now disputes the tab. What's more amazing is the picture that accompanies this. After looking at that crazy-eyed stare, my immediate thought was, "Yup, that's exactly what I thought he'd look like." (Scott S. in Cleveland) -- Two diehard Cardinals fans lament over the Cards elimination and the subsequent closing of Busch Stadium. You can just picture the cameraman five hours later, head between his hands as these two guys continue to hold him hostage with stories of their Cardinal heritage.

(The best part is at the 1:30 mark when "Troy" dramatically cries "OH MY GOD ... You know how many games we've seen here?" after being asked whether he'll miss the stadium. It's even funnier the 30th time you watch it.) -- Mike Martz tries to call in a play during the second half of the Rams/Saints game, but is foiled when his secret operative gets locked out of the coaching booth. -- A new Rock, Paper, Scissors champion is crowned, makes sure to point out that "while [he] believes the sport is both entertaining and practical, [it] wouldn't work to settle such disputes as softwood or the Iraq war." Well not with that kind of defeatist attitude.


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