yahoo.com -- I'm not really a hockey fan, but Jose Theodore is my new favorite goalie. When a crazed fan in hockey gear jumped on the ice during Canadiens' practice and charged the goal, Theodore took him on, ultimately stopping a wrist shot. Afterwards, Theodore noted, "He couldn't beat me. That's the main thing." Countered the fan, "I didn't have time."
chucknorris.com (Tim from MA) -- Chuck Norris responds to his growing Internet legend, borrows from "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer." "I'm a Wild West kind of guy. This internet you speak of ... I don't even know what that is. Your world frightens and confuses me! ... Buy my book."
youtube.com (Dennis from Champaign, IL; SOUND) -- This hypnotic basketball video starts off slow but is worth the wait -- it's like the "Try a Little Tenderness" of dunking/shot-blocking highlights.timesonline.co.uk -- Top 10 Rodman moments. Personal favorite comes from #4, when Rodman "exceed[ed] the Newport harbor speed limit in a boat called Sexual Chocolate." I'd sell my soul to pull off that boat name.
detnews.com -- Tales of Ben Wallace's prima donna days at Virginia Union. Like the time he accepted new shoes.
msn.com (Mike G. in Alburtis, PA) -- Nick Lachey trying to look serious while secretly wondering how he can steer Matt towards the blonde and keep the brunette for himself.
I saw the devil incarnate, and she wears a hairnet.
For months now, I have been waged in battle against a local Chipotle employee, a 4'11" woman of unspeakable evil. She works the middle station in the food line, where she seems to take a sadistic pleasure in ruining customer burritos. Not only does she make no effort to evenly distribute the various ingredients, she seems to go out of her way to stack them in lazy little piles that ensure no mix whatsoever. However, last night she upped the ante. Grimacing, I asked her for just a little bit of sour cream, and then watched in horror as she flung in a gigantic spoonful of it that dwarfed every other ingredient combined. I tried to protest, but she just shrugged her shoulders. Dejected, I moved to the cashier, and then I saw it ... a thin smile cross her lips. No joke. You know that "Sopranos" scene where Tony whispers to his mother that "she's the real gangster," right as she's being carted off in a gurney, then sees her face and starts screaming, "She's smiling! Look at her! She's %$#%^@& smiling!" It was like that, only I stood in silent rage and paid for my disgusting sour cream burrito.
This is not over.
(One final note -- A male friend of mine recently suggested ordering a burrito bowl, sans tortilla, which allows you to mix it up yourself. That works, except that last time I checked no real man orders a burrito sans tortilla.)
sfgate.com -- Hilarious recap of how Isaac Hayes came to be "Chef." As Isaac recalls, his response to reading the pilot was, "You all some crazy white boys!" Next thing he knows, he's recording a hit song that I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to type.
nydailynews.com -- Knick rookie David Lee drew the ire of both Larry Brown and Spike Lee for his tendency to overpass the ball (and I love how we're told that Spike and David have "no relation"). In addition, here's Brown rationalizing how his constant backstabbing actually makes his players better (nydailynews.com).