Single page view By Bill Simmons
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"I'm not the most aggressive person as far as like, ah, sort of bonding with people. You know, I'm pretty uncomfortable with any kind of, you know, human interaction."
-- John Gulager, Project Greenlight's director for Season Three

"I'm blessed to have great friends, and there are a lot of men in my life who've been more than just friends."
-- Jim Nantz in the April 2005 Golf Digest

"We'll see how the game goes. If they're scoring, keep feeding them. If they're missing, then I'll do me. That's talent. I'm multitalented. Like Bo Jackson!"
-- Gilbert Arenas answering a question about whether he would be a distributor or a scorer against the Bulls tonight

"It's better than my wedding ring. You can always get wedding rings."
-- Johnny Damon on receiving his 2004 World Series ring

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to put it in the column? When we were in Vegas for the Super Bowl, I took my wife to see Celine Dion."
-- My buddy J-Bug on Saturday night

"Red Sox-Yankees has evolved into the very best drama in all of sports and with that comes no shortage of themes, which are often silly or contrived (remember 'The Curse of the Bambino'?)."
-- Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy writing after the third game of the Yankees-Red Sox series

"I'm not here to talk about the past. I want to talk about the future."
-- My buddy (and diehard Yankee fan) JackO quoting Mark McGwire while gloating about consecutive wins over the Red Sox

"I got every Dan Shaughnessy book known to man."
-- Jimmy Fallon on how he prepared for his role as a diehard Red Sox fan in "Fever Pitch"

"I'm not a big baseball fan, to be honest."
-- Native New Yorker Jimmy Fallon on whether he took any grief from his friends back home for playing a diehard Red Sox fan in "Fever Pitch"

"There's always going to be criticism when your name is Jalen. You have to wear a bulletproof vest and be ready for it."
-- Jalen Rose

"Like I told the guys earlier, once he turns 21 and is able to drink, it's over."
-- Jalen Rose after LeBron James scored 56 on the Raptors

"I'm not fast. But there are a lot of guys that are a hell of a lot slower than I am. Somebody wants to do a pay-per-view race between me and [Tom] Brady, sign me up."
-- New Dallas QB Drew Bledsoe, who hasn't started a playoff game since 1997.

"Not being able to speak, not being able to communicate with other players, that's definitely a hindrance to having better communication, and better relationships with other players."
-- Byung Hyun-Kim explaining why he hasn't clicked with his teammates in Boston

"Roses are red ... violets are blue ... if you look at another girl ... I will beat you."
-- Doug Christie's wife reciting a poem she had written during this month's episode of HBO's "Real Sports"

"Call me a whore, call me a slut -- don't call me a liar."
-- Tonya, explaining why she slept with Robyn's boyfriend, then was upset that Robyn didn't believe her on "The Inferno"

"I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish the date."
-- Shaquille O'Neal after dropping 30 points in a win over the Knicks on Saturday

Continued...


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