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What the heck was model Naomi Campbell thinking when she allegedly head-butted her assistant, Amie Castaldo, bit her on the bottom lip and pulled her hair until Castaldo fell to the ground because Castaldo booked a backup rather than Campbell's favorite hairstylist to do her hair? (Campbell says there is no truth to the allegations.)

Naomi Campbell
I don't think I want to live in an America where the wealthy can't slap people around.

A. "The backup was actually Craig Krenzel. Who wouldn't be disappointed?"

B. "When you spend as much time as I do on the catwalk, it becomes second nature to catfight."

C. "I miss hockey so much, it just came out of me."

D. "She also tried to substitute a regular Tic-Tac for the usual low-cal one I have for breakfast."

E. "The good news is, the San Francisco 49ers called and asked if I'm busy on Sundays for the rest of the season."

F. "Would it help you understand if I told you we were both naked at the time?"