George McGovern called Saturday night from New Orleans and said he was ready to rumble.
"This is it, Hunter. This is the day we've been waiting for all our lives," he cackled. "Nixon was nothing compared to these bastards. This is the most important election of my lifetime, including my own race.
"What do you think is going to happen on Tuesday?"
"I think Kerry will win," I answered.
"Yes, I think so, too. He is about the greatest thing since God created you and me," he laughed.
His voice became serious then, and he said, "I think he is a good guy."
"Yes, I think he will be a good president," I said.
"So do I," he answered.
"By the way," I said, "Tell Eleanor that I still have a crush on her."
"That's good. I'll tell her that on Sunday, which is our 61st wedding anniversary. We got married on Halloween."
I could tell he was smiling over the phone.
"Eleanor is still trying to figure out if it was a trick or a treat," he said.
It is now Tuesday, and John Kerry is looking good today, while George Bush is looking a little desperate. His eyes are wild and his voice is shrill and he is acting more and more like a doomed animal on its way to the meat-grinder. Young George is about to lose his first election.
JFK will win this one decisively enough to make any recounts or challenges irrelevant. If Kerry wins New Hampshire and Pennsylvania and Florida, for instance, this election will be over before it really gets started.
Kerry will win big today. I guarantee it. The evil Bush family of central Texas is about to suffer another humiliating failure on another disastrous election day.
And I knew it Sunday after returning from Los Angeles, where I had been campaigning for Kerry, my friend. Football and politics were never so fatally linked as they were when the Washington Redskins lost to the Green Bay Packers that day. It was all over after that.
The sun has come up over the Rockies and the time has come to drive into town and vote aggressively for my man, who will win this election handily. And the Democrats will regain control of both houses of Congress. That is all I know right now, and all I need to know.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. We will march on a road of bones.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson was born and raised in Louisville, Ky. His books include "Hell's Angels," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72," "The Great Shark Hunt," "The Curse of Lono," "Generation of Swine," "Songs of the Doomed," "Screwjack," "Better Than Sex," "The Proud Highway," "The Rum Diary," and "Fear and Loathing in America." His latest book, "Kingdom of Fear," has just been released. A regular contributor to various national and international publications, Thompson now lives in a fortified compound near Aspen, Colo. His column, "Hey, Rube," appears regularly on Page 2.