By David Vecsey
Page 2

Mike Ditka is intrigued. And he is excited. Da Senator! He kind of likes the sound of that.

Mike Ditka
"And remember, a vote for Ditka ... is a vote for Ditka."

At the same time, he isn't sure. Da Senator? Without a day of prior public service?

When facing a crossroads in life, oftentimes it helps to list the pros and cons of the situation. You know, to help sort things out. As Da Coach contemplates his future in politics, here are some things he might be considering:

Pro: Could revolutionize Senate Committee Hearings with terse one-word answers and penchant for storming out in the middle of questioning.

Con: Flipping gum into Senate gallery and making obscene gestures not really considered cool.

Pro: If Cheney says it's kosher to drop f-bombs on Democratic Senators, then it's kosher to drop f-bombs on Democratic Senators.

Con: Rumsfeld advises against obscenity-laced tirades against the press & as tempting as it might be & and as much as the press might deserve it.

POLITICAL FAILURES
Mike Ditka might get elected to the Senate. But as Jeff Merron reminds us, many other sports celebrities have failed in their bids for public office.
Pro: Furious red-faced diatribes could really perk up C-SPAN ratings.

Con: Won't have Jim Harbaugh to blame when things don't go well.

Pro: Last guy had to give up the race when the public found out he'd taken his actress wife to avant-guard sex clubs. I don't even know what an avant-guard sex club is.

Con: That peephole into Eagles cheerleaders' dressing room & Nobody knows that was me, right?

Pro: Would earn brownie points with Schwarzenegger by replacing him as the least-qualified elected official in the country.

Con: Not really sure what a Senator does.

Pro: Assured of starting tight end job for Senate flag football team.

Con: Have to hear sideline whisperings about how "We gotta get Largent over here."

Pro: I'm "really conservative."

Con: Stance on gay marriage might take a hit if the Dems find that "wedding" picture with Ricky Williams.

Ricky Williams, Mike Ditka
We all know where Iron Mike stands on gay marriage.

Pro: Anybody who can convince himself that it's OK to give The Fridge a Super Bowl touchdown over Walter Payton surely can convince himself that it's OK to invade other countries without indisputable proof of WMDs.

Con: Fearful of public reaction to innovative tax bill that would clear out $100M in cap room for the Bears simply by eliminating a few after-school programs.

Pro: Folks at Levitra might pony up even better money for an endorsement by a U.S. Senator.

Con: Apparently an "endorsement for senator" does NOT mean shooting a commercial.

Pro: Dubya loves the way coaches make unilateral decisions regardless of public opinion.

Con: How long before people realize that Buddy Ryan was the mastermind of that Super Bowl team? I mean, how long before people realize what a sham my coaching reputation is? I mean, how much mileage can one man get on one championship? I mean, am I a fraud or what?

Con: My own wife isn't sure she'd vote for me.

Pro: Senators get interns, right?




David
Vecsey
DA SENATOR