OK, so the NFL wants to cleanse its palate after last year's wardrobe malfunction debacle at Super Bowl XXXVIII -- mostly because it's the first thing people remember from an unusually thrilling game.

But instead of sticking to halftime performers who appeal to the league's younger demographic, such as, say, on-the-rise pop star Jesse McCartney, they're going with someone old enough to be Jesse's grandfather -- Paul McCartney.

It's an interesting choice, especially if you recall McCartney's quick-where's-the-remote song "Freedom" that he performed during the pre-game of Super Bowl XXXVI. Thanks, but I'll take Janet's boob-flashing any day -- and twice this Sunday.

Still, for some reason, I can't get the lyrics to the Beatles "Revolution 9" out of my head ...

Number nine, number nine, number nine ...

That's why I've listed nine reasons why the NFL may not necessarily be making a "safe" choice by picking McCartney:

1. On Jan. 17, 1980, Sir Paul was busted in Japan with a bag of Mary Jane when he arrived for a tour. He spent nine days in the clink before being freed and put on a plane to Amsterdam. Good thing there's no pot there.

2. According to various clues accumulated during McCartney's years with the Beatles, Paul is actually dead. He "blew his mind out in a car" in the late '60s. The one performing at Super Bowl XXXIX is merely a doppelganger. For the second straight Super Bowl, the NFL plays the fool.

3. On his song, "Big Boys Bickering," McCartney sings the F-word six times. That's "F," as in "fines" and "FCC."

4. Not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times Macca collaborated with the ever-strange Michael Jackson -- the brother of last year's Super Bowl malfeasant, Janet -- on songs: "Say Say Say," "The Man," "The Girl Is Mine" and "Girlfriend," a song Macca wrote specifically for Jacko. Suddenly consorting with Ringo doesn't look so bad.

5. McCartney was once the lead singer of the band Wings. Eagles have wings, Patriots do not. How about a non-partisan performer, Mr. Tagliabue?

6. According to Charles Manson, The Beatles communicated to him through the band's lyrics. McCartney co-wrote "Helter Skelter," a song that inspired Manson to orchestrate the killings of seven people over the course of two evenings. We're not saying he was complicit, but still ...

7. The Minnesota Vikings are on the market but Macca is gearing up to buy the Sunderland AFC soccer team. What? American football's not good enough?

8. Macca's a card-carrying member of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), a vegetarian and an anti-leather advocate. It's a good thing that football's made out of, oh, wait ... let's save this brand of hypocrisy for baseball.

9. The Beatles' last album was "Let It Be ... Naked." Nuff said.