By Jason McIntyre
Special to Page 3
Nobody really knows if Anna Kournikova really got married. Sure, a report surfaced that fans at a tennis match (Anna's still playing? Get out!) overheard the titleless-wonder say, "Everything is awesome. We are married."
But why should we believe her, anyway?
Anna, 23, has joked before about being wed to crooner Enrique Iglesias, 29, and in her last serious relationship, she and Sergei Federov got hitched on the sly, and nobody knew about it until after the fact.
Sorry, I'm not buying it -- yet. Show me a picture of the wedding, or provide the necessary paperwork.
But let's pretend for a second that Anna and Enrique did actually get hitched on a beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in November.
Will their love match last forever? Or will their union split like so many athlete-celebrity marriages: Tyson-Givens, Justice-Berry, Greschner-Alt, DiMaggio-Monroe, Theismann-Crosby ... the list goes on.
The happy couple might want to take a cue at what not to do:
MIKE TYSON and ROBIN GIVENS
How nasty did this one get? After Tyson foolishly ripped Givens and her mom (yeah, he went there) in the media, Givens filed a $125 million libel suit against the boxer. She later rescinded it. Tyson wanted this one to end so badly that he flew to the Dominican Republic for a quickie divorce on Valentine's Day.
Currently, Tyson is such a wreck that there is an actual Web site which asks Tyson fans to contribute funds to help him crawl out of bankruptcy. Oh, the irony.
DAVID JUSTICE AND HALLE BERRY
I still remember getting DJ's Upper Deck rookie card and being geeked about how it would skyrocket in value ($7 is a lot to a young teenager). Imagine, I was naive enough to believe that a marriage to the stunningly sexy Berry ("Boomerang" is in the top 10 of my all-time favorite movies) would actually increase his card's value. My high school days are a fog, but for some inexplicable reason, baseball cards stand out.
As for the marriage, it ended nastily, and on the field Justice was never the same. Post-divorce, he only had one good year (in 2000, when he hit 41 homers and actually played in more than 75 percent of his team's games).
ANDRE AGASSI AND BROOKE SHIELDS
Shields, also known as the best-looking baby (and subsequent teenager) ever to crawl the earth, was married to Agassi for two years in the late 1990s, but later had the marriage annulled (so she could re-marry in a Catholic Church). If you're curious how he did on the court during the first two years of marriage, the answer is simple: No Grand Slam Championships. By no means am I saying that that's Shields' fault. It's just what happens.
RON GRESCHNER and CAROL ALT
Unlike the other quickie marriages between athletes and celebrities, Greschner-Alt had some legs -- it lasted from 1984 until 1996, when, if newspaper reports are to believed, she wanted to continue modeling and "acting" and he wanted kids. A few years after the divorce, who does she begin dating? Another hockey player. This one, 13 years her senior, Alexei Yashin (you can project the "hockey players get models, too" story for next week, or if they ever get the season underway).
Jason McIntyre covers sports and entertainment in New York City. He can be reached at email@example.com.