I spent Saturday night at a Borgata roulette table in Atlantic City, playing strictly numbers -- actually, jersey numbers of players who have yet to win rings. And thanks to Ewing's "33," Barkley's "34," and Ticha Penichiero's "21," I was doing pretty well.

Sure, Trevor Linden's "16" and Neil Anderson's "35" came up empty for over four hours, but the drinks were free and losers were winners, which made the night a rather lengthy one.

I slept well past noon on Sunday; completely forgetting that my buddy, Tanny, had tickets for the afternoon Mets-Rockies game. So, while basking in the glory of the previous night's escapades and the extra $150 in my pocket, I missed out on Tom Glavine's bid at immortality. Glavine, who pitched a perfect game late into the seventh inning, nearly matched fellow left-hander Randy Johnson's remarkable feat from only a few days prior.

Nearly matched. It got me thinking: Isn't being nearly perfect an oxymoron; an impossibility? After all, my "perfect" night had been ruined by hangover after effects and sleep deprivation that kept me from witnessing Glavine's greatness -- albeit "nearly perfect" greatness.

Glavine's performance brings to light the truly awesome and improbable nature of what Johnson accomplished. And the fact that, nowadays, we toss around the word "perfect" all too often.

For instance, Anna Kournikova is not the perfect woman. Sure, she's absolutely gorgeous, amazingly athletic and absurdly wealthy, but she broke my man Pavel Bure's heart.

"Animal House" is not the perfect movie. It's outdated and has since been outdone in the college, cult-film genre by both "Van Wilder" and "Old School."

Furthermore, the Atkins Diet is not the perfect solution. I'm sorry, but nothing that allows Cheez-Its and artery-clogging, cholesterol-building bacon in one's diet, is anywhere near perfection, or even healthy for that matter.

But 27 up and 27 down is damn perfect. And that's why Randy Johnson would sit pretty at No. 1 on my all-time perfection list. With that, here are a few more glimpses of perfection that I've witnessed in my 22-years on this planet:

1. VH1 Classic

Just like ESPN realized that a gold mine of Padres-Giants games were collecting dust in its libraries, VH1 took notice that it had vaults full of classic music videos just waiting to be resurrected. So, in May 2000, VH1 brought us the musical adaptation of my favorite ESPN sister-station, ESPN Classic, and VH1 Classic was born.

Within one half-hour of viewing, I bared witness to videos running the gamut: Chicago's "You're the Inspiration," Alannah Miles' tantalizing "Black Velvet," and Dennis Deyoung's solo effort, "This is the Time."

Now, this was the first time I'd ever heard the solo cut by the former Styx frontman, which was apparently off the "The Karate Kid Part 2" original soundtrack, but the video was simply brilliant -- complete with Mr. Miyagi and an older, wiser Daniel Larusso roaming through Japan.

Anyone who's seen "Behind the Music: Styx" has got to have a soft spot for Deyoung. I mean, Tommy Shaw wanted to experiment with hard rock, but Deyoung stuck to his guns and put together rock operas like "Mr. Roboto." Eventually, Shaw left Styx for Ted Nugent's Damn Yankees, and Deyoung continued his artistic vision.

A combination of persistence, love and passion for music like Deyoung's, personifies the entire network. Where else can you see this stuff in its raw form? Ain't nostalgia grand?

Perfect Walton Moments

Christmas Day 2003, LeBron vs. T-Mac: In a meaningless matchup between the Cavs and Magic, two teams with no real playoff aspirations, Walton went bananas. At 8-6, when Tracy McGrady hit a three-pointer, Walton had a seizure, "This may be the best game I've ever witnessed!" Lakers-Kings 2002 Conference Finals, Game 7: Peja Stojakovic's injury was becoming obvious, Doug Christie was self-destructing, and Vlade Divac was flopping more than Billy Bob Thorton's "The Alamo." The Lakers were going for their third-straight Western Conference crown, and all Walton did was ponder aloud, "Where is Bobby Jackson?" over-and-over-and-over again.. Grizzlies-Trailblazers, 2003: As Portland cruised to another playoff appearance, Memphis was struggling in their first year under Hubie Brown. Late in the fourth quarter, Jason Williams went down horribly on his ankle. Instead of critiquing the injury, Walton inappropriately let out a huge sigh and a call something like this: Finally! Enough of Williams' inconsistency. We will now have the pleasure and honor of watching a true point guard and an excellent leader, Earl Watson." Watson, though not terrible, is no Fat Lever. Walton's unabashed favoritism for UCLA is great stuff.

2. Bill Walton

For starters, let's not forget the 1973 Championship Game versus Memphis State. Walton was perfect, shooting 21-22 from the field, scoring 44 points and grabbing 13 rebounds in an 87-66 win.

Although the footage I've seen resembles the same grainy, handheld camcorder material that tricked the Pistons into drafting Darko Milicic. I was too young to actually see Walton in his prime, but the proof of his perfection lies in those simply ridiculous statistics.

As far as I'm concerned, Walton was perfect that night in '73, and continues his perfection on any given night with a headset and a microphone. Full of outrage, passion and joy, I love listening to his insight. You know how the Greek leader Odysseus couldn't deny the sirens? Well, that's how I feel about Walton as a color analyst.

3. Frat Boy's Nice Guy Game

Whoever thinks that love is not a game didn't spend three years living in a college fraternity house. Translation: I've witnessed at least 75-100 "games" guys use, or attempt to use, to attract the ladies.

If memory serves, there was the "stoner game" which lured the opposite sex by "chilling out" and listening to Phish on cassette -- which was fine, but just not my thing. Then, there was the "mean game." You know, ignore the object of your affection all night or just be flat-out disrespectful. Why some girls go for that, baffles the mind! I've seen it work, but if Brandon Walsh never used such tactics during his days at Beverly Hills High, nor would I.

Staying fly-on-the-wall quiet with the occasional witty comment, proved a decent success-rate for the "aloof" game as well. But, the foolproof way to woo a lady was taught to me by a wise senior when I was a mere first-year student: When in doubt, look deeply into her eyes and recite the following, "You know, I've met all of these girls. And it's really refreshing to finally meet someone like you ... someone I can actually speak to ... someone who is actually, well, cool."

Of course it helps to choose the girl wisely, and when the feelings are actually, uh, somewhat genuine. Did I just say that? But if you can pull it off, you're before and after percentages will be like comparing Bo Outlaw and Michael Adams at the foul line. All is fair in love and basketball.

4. Successful Heckling

A self-proclaimed master heckler, there is perhaps no greater feeling than causing a player to respond to said taunting. To achieve ultimate annoyance, one must first choose their subject wisely and with careful consideration.

For instance, at a recent Cardinals-Mets bout, my friends and I sat closely behind the Cardinals' dugout. There, we carefully scoped out our victim with the meticulous nature of a David Caruso, Miami crime scene ... CSI: Shea Stadium.

But the Cardinals were an enigma. The meat of their lineup includes Albert Pujols, Jim Edmonds, and Scott Rolen, all of whom are pretty much the best players at their respective positions. They're also great-looking men, and noted, charitable patrons of the St. Louis community with no demons, no classic postseason errors, and no bodily scars to speak of -- we can't taunt these guys!

Ray Lankford, Reggie Sanders and Marlon Anderson have been in baseball longer than Dr. Sue Johansson has been helping sex lives -- we can't knock these career-compilers either. We wouldn't disrespect a Kevin Willis or a Jackie Slater, and we wouldn't get at Lankford. Hell, he was playing in the "It is Sexy for Women to Wear Flannel Shirts"-era. That's remarkable!

So, my buddies and I went for the safe bet and zoned-in on recognized hothead, Julian Tavarez. Known for scuffing the ball, we gave him the business. Only days earlier, Philadelphia Phillies manager Larry Bowa forced the umpires to check Tavarez's hat for sandpaper and Tavarez went berserk.

Little did we know that three guys decked in Old Navy from the seventeenth row could have the same effect on him. After only a few jabs, Tavarez fired back at us with a slew of cuss words in a foreign language. For hecklers like ourselves, this was the equivalent of construction workers whistling at Gwyneth Paltrow and her responding by lifting her skirt -- such satisfaction and perfection.

5. NHLPA '93 for Sega Genesis

The movie "Swingers" brought this masterpiece to the national stage, but a simple mention was not enough for me. Eleven years later, in my mind, NHLPA is the only "perfect" video game ever made.

NHLPA '93 was one of the first video games to include actual players and full rosters. And yet, the skating, graphics, brutal injuries ... everything down to the crowd noise can still compete with technological advancements of today's games.

I still rely on Eddie Olczyk and the Winnipeg Jets' checking line to hold off my brother's high-flying Blackhawks' first line of Steve Larmer, Jeremy Roenick and Michel Goulet. Earlier this year, "ESPN Gamer" touched upon Roenick's brilliance in this game, and I'm here to tell you that his dominance was not exaggerated. Roenick scores more often in that game than Tom Brady in a Boston bar on Patriot's Day.

NHLPA '93 also boasts one of the coolest features of all time -- one that has never been duplicated. During intermissions, you can watch both scores and highlights from other games around the league. So, even when you're in the midst of a 3-3 barnburner between Theo Fluery's Flames and the Bernie Nichols-led Oilers, a highlight of Al Iafrate breaking the glass with a slap shot out in Washington won't be missed -- simply amazing!

It's a little known fact that a great controversy surrounds this game as well. Allow me to enlighten: Every player has a specific rating from 1-100. The best players, like Wayne Gretzky, are rated closer to 100 while the worst players hover around the 50-60 range. For no apparent reason, Tampa Bay Lightning defenseman Shawn Chambers is ranked a one! The means that the second-worst player in the NHL was about five-times better than Chambers.

Based on these rankings, one would think that the real-life Chambers would have trouble skating, holding a stick, or perhaps, even breathing. But in truth, Chambers had a nice NHL career. The well-respected defenseman even won a Stanley Cup with the Devils. If Chambers is a "one," then my personal skills would rank somewhere around minus-45.

This raises the question: Did Chambers do EA's player-rating folks wrong? Did he cause them to lose a bet? While you ponder this mystery, I'll continue to marvel in the video game's perfection. In fact, I think I'll go play.

One of ESPN's final 100 "Dream Job" contestants, Peter Schrager recently graduated from Emory University, and covers popular culture for Page 3. He can be reached at PeterSchrager@yahoo.com.