Yes, yes: It's a lot easier to mock "Dream Job" contestants from the comfort of my couch than to step up and recognize the level of difficulty involved in pulling off a live, nationally televised audition to be a "SportsCenter" anchor. But, hey, they put themselves out there ...

This week's episode: "My SportsCenter," where contenders will be judged on their ability to write and deliver a two-clip highlights package.

A panel of judges and viewers vote to see who gets the boot -- a fun (and evil) switch on the Idol model.

First impressions count
We got a first glimpse at the 12 finalists, and being judgmental is our right as a reality-TV viewer:

Michael "Quigs" Quigley
40, auto parts salesman
No neck. Ominous sign.

Casey Stern
25, executive recruiter
Red shirt? Yikes.

Kelly Milligan
37, attorney
For now, having a hard time telling the difference between him and Quigs.

Nick Stevens
30, comedian
And he lets us all know with a Hey-I'm-a-Comedian finger-point.

Aaron Levine
21, student
Rips off Nick's finger-point (kind of like "Price is Right," where someone bids and the next person over-bids a dollar more).

Mike Hall
22, student
Seriously looks like he's going to pee his pants.

Zachariah Selwyn
28, musician
Points for a different look: No tie, looks like an extra from "Passion."

Maggie Haskins
21, student
Flips hair behind ears; nervous much?

Chris Williams
31, attorney
Looks more comfortable than the rest.

Lori Rubinson
39, marketing exec
Is this an audition for "What Not to Wear?" Who dressed her for this?

Chet Anekwe
38, actor
Winking at national TV audience will get him nowhere (but maybe find him a date).

Alvin Williams
38, Wild Card winner
Five words: Just. Happy. To. Be. Here.

Of course, they've got to be able to do the job. They've picked six to start tonight, fortunately for viewers, because we're still trying to figure out the difference between Kelly and Quigs. (Not for long ... yes, that's ominous foreshadowing.)

The contenders will be judged by four people: Tony Kornheiser from "PTI" (quickly pegged as the Simon Cowell); Kit Hoover from "Cold Pizza" (does that maker her Paula Abdul?); Redskins LB LaVar Arrington (no, he's NOT Randy Jackson, thankfully); and ESPN talent exec Al Jaffe (looking like the true breakout star of the show).

Oh, and fans have an equal say, and I know who I voted for. Let's see how we got there, with a recap of the six-pack of Sunday performances:

First up: Mike Hall
Now going first is never easy, but in the pre-audition banter with Stuart Scott, he named Kerri Strug's Olympic vault as his favorite sports moment, which alone probably disqualifies him (if not tonight, then soon). But then when asked who his toughest competition was, the guy said "Nick," even after Stuart nearly force-fed him "Myself." Oh, see, now Mike gets it. Too late.

I started to play "count the cliches" in his writing, but I lost track after four in the first few sentences. He was all right; not bad, not great -- the general impression of the judging panel. Impossible to really say, because there's not one to compare him to (yet).

Next up: Chris Williams.
Aced the pre-highlight banter with Stuart, who asked which contestant he wouldn't want to anchor a show with. He said Alvin "because you can't have that many Williams." Clever.

Chris went long on the music references: 50 Cent, Michael Jackson, Outkast ... but probably should have spent more time going over hockey names, which he delivered haltingly (though, to his credit, that's how they're always delivered.)

Chris's biggest problem was that he kept looking at Stuart, instead of the Teleprompter, during his delivery. Look at us, Chris!

The judges were all lukewarm. Later, Chris asked for another shot to get better. He looks like he could use it, a double-edged scenario.

Next: Michael "Quigs" Quigley
You want to root for this guy. You really do. But he's in trouble from the get-go, when Stuart calls out that he's never seen a sportscaster without a neck before. Ouch!

Thrown off, Quigs barely musters a stutter to the pre-highlight banter ... as we'd find out, he was apparently saving it for the red light:

His highlight of the Stanford-Arizona game started blandly enough ... just a little play-by-play ... until the screaming. We're talking top-of-lungs, viewer-jaw-dropping, banshees-got-nothing-on-him screaming.

Sam Kinnison isn't dead: He's apparently trying out for "SportsCenter."

Quigs moved on to hockey, and perhaps he'd cool off, but -- no -- there goes that screaming again, this time continuing to shout well after the clip was over and he was wrapping up the segment to our faces.

The judges seemed a little stunned, but came through with their best comments of the night. LaVar Arrington had the best comment of the night, generously comparing Quigs to a race-car driver -- great on the "straightaways" of the highlight, not good on the "curves" of the transition; Al blitzed him for doing "play by play," rather than spinning a narrative; Tony said it was like Chris Farley doing a SNL sketch on how a "SportsCenter" highlight should be done. And that's funnier and more clever than anything else done tonight.

With three down and three left, there was a "halftime show" -- each contender would try to guess names of sports stars, using clues provided by the other five. It was our first look at the three contestants who hadn't gone yet: Nick, Maggie and Aaron.

Didn't matter: All six were brutal at both delivering clues and guessing. Can't get "Round Mound of Rebound?" How can we take you seriously?

What did we learn about our contestants? We learned about all six that none of them are all that sports savvy. Back to the show ...

Next: Maggie Haskins
Slow, long-winded intros to the highlight clips, with an unmemorable Ohio State-Purdue football highlight, followed by an ill-advised self-referential disaster about her and her sister, making a comparison to a highlight of the Williams sisters playing each other. Maggie: I barely want to watch tennis highlights, let alone hear about your issues with your siblings.

But she finished as strong as any of the night's contestants, with a reference to the infamous Cialis' "four-hour" caveat. Brilliant.

Next: Aaron Levine
By far, the smoothest of the candidates, though he came across as young-sounding as the student he is. There's something to be said for gravitas in your "SportsCenter" anchor.

But he was the best contender of the night, thanks to his smooth delivery, tight writing (including a "Godfather" reference and a beautiful transition from an NFL highlight to X Games ... not easy, particularly because transitions were the roughest part of every other contestants' writing). The judges agreed. This kid ain't getting bumped tonight.

Finally: Nick Stevens
They kept calling him the "Rama-lama" guy from the "Dream Job" promos that have been running. Yet he didn't break it out once -- but that that didn't keep him from leading the league in "catchphrases wedged into a single highlight clip."

He was so intent on blitzing us with catchphrases and proving just how clever he thinks he is, Nick rushed his delivery to the point where it was useless to try to figure out what was actually going on with the highlight. (And, just a technical point, it's No-VITZ-ski, not No-WITZ-ski.)

After starting the show seeming like the contender to beat, he was given a rough time by the judges: "Didn't sound like an anchor" (Al); "Worry about the smug factor" (Tony).

Before the results were announced, each of the six were given a chance to plead their case to the judges one last time:

Mike wanted us to "sympathize" with him for opening up about his interest in Kerri Strug. Shoot, and we had just forgotten ...

Quigs is "willing to work hard," and we'd consider giving him another chance if he was willing to stop screaming.

Maggie said she can't lose "Sex and the City" and "Dream Job" on the same night. Pop-culture references should keep her in the game.

Chris thinks he's "just scratched the surface," and there's probably enough promise there to keep him around.

Aaron tried the populist, John Edwards route, saying he represented the little people out there who make sports shows happen. So he's living the dream on my behalf?

Finally, Nick tried a combination of kissing the judges' butts, then ESPN's butt as an organization. The only butt he didn't kiss was the viewers'. What happened to Mr. Smarmy? Apparently, the judges' critiques crushed his confidence, and we like our anchors arrogant enough to brush that off, thank you.

So, ranking the Week 1 contenders (and revealing my cast-off vote):

1. Aaron
2. Maggie
3. Nick
4. Mike
5. Chris
6. Quigs

My vote to get the boot: Quigs. I'm just not sure I want to hear that kind of screaming at 6, 11, 2 and all morning on the "SportsCenter" replays.

The voting ended up being as dramatic as anything else on the show:

Vote from fans: Mike Hall

Vote from judges: Split between Chris Williams and Mike Quigley.

Voted out: Given a tie, the decision came from an ominous-looking red phone ... and Chris Williams was given the boot over Mike Quigley!

Chris didn't do well, and wasn't given the chance to get better. Quigley showed a lot of, um, volume, if nothing else. And that looked like the difference-maker.

An upset, on the very first show. Next six coming next week, and I think everyone is waiting to see if Zachariah can back up his unique look.

Dan Shanoff writes the weekly "In Play/Played Out" trend-spotting forecast for Page 3. Weekdays, he writes the "Daily Quickie" for ESPN.com.