"It's so damn confusing. They tell me the ball is the white thing with red laces, and the bat is the long wood thing. But I just can't keep 'em straight."

"I might be in the twilight of my career, but at least I still have a career."

"Eighty years from now, those losers in Boston will be talking about the Curse of the Rocket.

"All work and no play makes Roger a dull boy. All work and no play makes Roger a dull boy. All work and no play makes Roger a dull boy."

"I've finally narrowed the names if we have another kid. For a girl, it's either Kristin, Kayla or Kylie. For a boy, it's Kosmo, Kiljoy or Keister."

"I remember my two Cy Youngs in Toronto and the College World Series at Texas, but I can't really recall anything that happened in between."

"Thank God they're not in the playoffs."