"A-Rod was telling me what a bad deal I have -- I get $6 million less than him and have to work an extra month every year."

"Next."

"If they really love me, why didn't any of those guys try to catch me?"

"Hey, Rudy. What's the chance you can call the new stadium 'The House that D Jitty Built'?"

"I really feel bad about Mariah, but not bad enough to go see 'Glitter.' "

"I love New York, but some dudes in this town are just plain scary."

"As long as Zimm's here, I'll always be the second-most stylish Yankee."