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|Flipped the bird
In your first day on the job as the assistant groundskeeper at Tucson Electric Park, you're summoned from the equipment shed and told you need to clean up an "unfortunate accident" that Randy Johnson had with a bird.
|Uh ... that's Mr. Knight or Coach Knight
Working as a student assistant in the sports information department of a Big 12 university, you're informed that your assignment for the evening is to "escort" Texas Tech's new head coach to the interview podium following a tough defeat.
|Stuck in a Black Hole
As a crazed Broncos fan, you're ecstatic to score lower-level seats for next Monday night's game against the Raiders in Oakland. Wearing your favorite Broncos hat and jersey, you're a little surprised to find yourself seated next to the fan known as "Violator" in the middle of an end-zone section known as the "Black Hole."
As the new conditioning coach for the Baltimore Ravens, you're told your first assignment will be to stand between the buffet line and defensive tackle Tony Siragusa in an attempt to keep the 350-plus pounder at his playing weight.
|A boy named Sue
Shortly after being hired as the new junior counsel in the NFL legal offices, you're told there's an urgent call on line one from a "Mr. Davis in Inglewood."
In the midst of your first career start as a pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals, you look over to see manager Tony La Russa striding toward the mound after you've walked the first two hitters on eight pitches.
|Rocket's red glare
As the backup catcher for the Mets, you're leading off the inning against Roger Clemens after a Mets pitcher has just hit and injured Derek Jeter in a blowout regular-season game.
You're an NHL enforcer who has just dropped the gloves with Nashville's Stu "The Grim Reaper" Grimson, when you hear the linesman say these three dreaded words, "Let 'em go."
|"And then I threatened to eat his children"
You're leading a group therapy session when a man stands in the back of the room and begins to speak. "My name is Mike, and ..."
As the new coach of the Washington Wizards, you decide to call for Chris Whitney to take the final shot in a tie game. Now you need to enter the huddle and inform No. 23 of your decision.