ESPN.com - McKendry answers her male mail

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Monday, December 10, 2001
Updated: December 11, 11:51 AM ET
McKendry answers her male mail

By Chris McKendry
Page 2 columnist

My thoughts on living in a man's world resulted in nearly 700 e-mails ... not to mention publicity seeking co-workers doing the strangest things near me in the newsroom in a transparent effort to get into my next column on how men behave in a man's world.


	Thanks to the marvels of VCR technology, Stuart Scott can wait to watch "Ally McBeal."

I used to fly so below the radar. Now I'm treated like a talent scout. I've gone from Donnie Brasco, mole, to Ed McMahon on "Star Search."

Judging by my mail, most think my observations are valid. Thanks. As I said, it's taken me a lifetime. I was also flattered that many of you took it upon yourselves to help me continue my research. Thanks for sharing your stories.

It would be impolite of me not to respond. And so I will.

But before I begin, I want to go on the record with the sports headlines that hit me this week. First, Big Five basketball returned to the Palestra in Philadelphia on Saturday. Big Five Ball is a tradition in Philly, like the Beanpot in Boston. And the Palestra is one of a kind ... my favorite place to watch a game. (For a terrific, unbiased opinion, check out ESPN.com's Andy Katz's take.) This year it was a triple header featuring six Philadelphia Division I universities, including my school, Drexel. (Technically, Drexel's not in the Big Five.)

When I was a freshman, Drexel stunned Navy and David Robinson at the Palestra. That arena ... a gym, really ... has soul. Although we lost by 10, I wish I had been there Saturday but the 6 p.m. SportsCenter called.

Second, the collapse of Enron made me think. Ever notice that every company that buys the naming rights to a stadium subsequently goes in the tank? Think PSINet, TWA, 3COM, America West, Pro Player, etc. -- have you seen their stock prices lately? Maybe there's a trend, or even a curse. Anyway, I'm thinking of shorting Heinz, FedEx and Reliant (which bought the rights to Houston's Stadium).

Both ideas held my interest. However, I feared they would not hold yours.

So, I'm game. Let's continue our discussion on men. We've reached the comment and reply portion of this debriefing.

Chris, Chris, Chris! Quoting "Blazing Saddles" and laughing for 10 minutes does not constitute a conversation. Quoting "Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail" and laughing for 10 minutes constitutes a conversation. Women. How little they know.
Mark Passwaters
College Station, Texas

Indeed, Mark P. is right. In fact, Mark Malone took umbrage with this one. Malone said that while quoting "Blazing Saddles" with Mark Schlereth and Trey Wingo is a good time, he actually prides himself on his ability to quote Monty Python.

Malone told me, "Chrissy, at least using 'Monty Python' as the example shows I have some literary depth."

Did he actually say, "literary"? Because this conversation happened in the make-up room ... I have a witness.

You also forgot the rule about "double parking" at urinals in the men's room (we will pee outside or hold it rather than using the urinal directly next to another guy).
Pat Burke
South Bend, Ind.

This was a favorite. How would I know the rule about "double parking"? Now, I might be a mole, but cut me some slack: I've never been in a men's room! I guess I need to clarify that working in a man's world does not include the bathrooms. I reluctantly received instruction on this topic, however. Trey agrees that it's not good form to use a urinal right next to another guy if a urinal is available another space away. He did mention that at some old stadiums or buildings there is a trough, and that's when it gets tricky. I didn't have a follow-up question. But I imagine the Palestra has a trough.

You know, I read somewhere that on Monday nights, Stuart Scott watches two televisions side by side: one tuned to football, and the other tuned to "Ally McBeal." Is this so?
I have to admit to watching "Ally," then changing channels around halftime. Well, unless the Giants are playing.
Nicholas Kim
Red Bank, N.J.


	James Marsdan, one of the "Ally McBeal" generic good-looking Hollywood boys.

Nicholas, I asked Stuart, and I have an update for you. He's learned how to program his VCR. So, he watches "Ally" after the game. As for the generic good-looking Hollywood boys and freckled girl added to the cast this season ... it's not working for us. Not a good draft class for David E Kelley.

Also, it annoys me that not a single person on that show has a trace of a legitimate Boston accent.

Chris was good, but she missed one of the best: The medical reports that come out saying stuff like 80 percent of men have noticeable hearing loss by age 40 are all part of a scam we're pulling on our wives and girlfriends. We can hear fine. It's just that after a long enough time, we know enough to stop listening to certain things. I will probably be called before the man council for giving up this bit of intelligence, but it's one of the best scams we've got going.
Steve Baas
Madison, Wis.

That's all right Steve. You keep the hearing loss scam, and we ladies will keep the headache scam. Deal?

Who is this Mike Greenberg, and why is he admitting to reading InStyle, a women's magazine? Mike, even when you are caught and have no way out, always remember: Deny, deny, deny. You have shamed all men!
Tom Boyer
New York

Tom, Mike says his brother agrees with you. However, Mike isn't backing down. He says he likes reading about the celebrities, their toys and trips. John Travolta's planes was the example he offered. Then again, Mike doesn't like going to football games in cold weather. Go figure. To hear more about Mike's idiosyncrasies, listen to the Mike and Mike show 6-10 a.m. ESPN Radio.

Mike's not alone, though. Many, many readers fessed up to enjoying women's glossy magazines. This one really struck a cord. Read on...

You're right about men reading women's magazines, but you missed one the big reasons why ... research!
Why waste time trying to figure out the other team's strategy, when you can just read their playbook?
Pete
Harrisburg, Pa.

Pete, good analogy. But don't believe everything you read. Sometimes women pick up a magazine, read an article or headline and say, "That's rubbish!" Don't fall for the garbage plays.

As far as missing the kids goes, I don't even work odd hours or weekends, and I miss my kids, so I guess we love 'em, too!
Chris Horning
Arvada, Colo.


	Julianne Nicholson, aka freckled girl on "Ally."

Many responded to my working-dads-miss-their-kids-too observation. Glad to hear it, and I hope the little ones hear it, too!

I'm still curious how much actual "guy talk" Chris is privy to. We (men) tend to be a lot more explicit (and even somewhat disgusting) when women are not within earshot.
Steve Maughan
Nutley, N.J.

For the most part, I get the PG-13 version. Sometimes the guys let their guard down, and I get the NC-17 version. And if that's not the NC-17 version, God help me. Actually, it's very common for a co-worker to curse, then look at me and say, "Sorry for the language". He might repeat this routine the very next day ... and I'll accept the apology the next day, too.

I never thought all the times my friends and I picked on her playing sports when we were younger would actually help prepare her for her future career.
So, Chris, even though you have never thanked us for all the times we let you play goal in hockey so we could just shoot at you (no defense, of course), you're welcome.
Also, Chris would hide all the good junk food before either of my brothers or I even knew Mom had brought it home.
Brian McKendry
Newtown, Pa.

Welcome to my world. Yes, this is my real brother. Playing sports with my brothers and their friends did help prepare me for working with men. I learned way back then ... letting someone play, letting someone in on the fun and jokes was a sign of acceptance.

(Although, Bri, there were better stories to recall! My glorious days playing pick-up hoops at Comly Playground would be a start. As for Mom giving me first dibs on the sweets -- she liked me better!)


	Find out more about John Travolta's planes in women's glossy magazines.

The beer thing is totally true. They may offer to buy the drinks, but appreciate your ordering a sensible Corona over a $7 froofy fruity thing. Beer girls make them comfortable -- wine and mixed drink girls raise the "high maintenance" warning flag.
Melanie
Detroit

This part of Melanie's very nice, very specific e-mail made me laugh. During the Jennifer vs. Gwyneth debate that I wrote about, it was argued that Ms. Paltrow would order a chardonnay in a pub. Very H-M (code for "high maintenance").

I know that only men were asked to comment on the article, but as a 25-year-old girly-girl who lives for sports, it really rang true for me. I feel stuck in between my desire to watch SportsCenter or read the latest Cosmo article about "How to create the perfect smoky eye for Fall." And while Chris McKendry nailed some of the male idiosyncrasies, she left out a couple that I experience daily with my guy friends:
1) Men will spend anywhere from $1,000- $5,000 on a stereo/DVD/Surround Sound/TV system, but won't cough up $40 for matching (clean) bath towels. Or Comet.
Vicki Paulo
Sacramento, Calif.

Vicki, that's a good point. It made me think of something else: Men, especially ones living with other guys, will buy toilet paper one roll at a time.

As for feeling torn between sports and Cosmo. Enjoy both! So many women do.

True story: While I was on my honeymoon in Bali, a guy kept looking at my husband and me. Finally, he walks over. I'm prepared for the SportsCenter questions. He introduces himself, and we introduce ourselves, me using my married last name. He asks if I'm also Chris McKendry. "Yes." He says, "I had no idea who you were ... but my wife thought so. She's the biggest Giants fan." So there we were, two young U.S. brides on the other side of the world, talking NFC East football. Vicki, you aren't as different or odd as you might think you are!

The guys who you hang with at lunch and on the set are telling you that they can relax and trust you with their true persons. They know you won't mind them being themselves, and I bet they not only appreciate it, but respect it.
Just don't reveal too much of what goes on and you'll always be welcome. You're in good company.
Justin Riba
Seattle

Justin, that's so sweet and deep.

I have another anecdote to offer here as well. I called my 5-year-old nephew, Brendan, who started kindergarden this year. I was teasing him about whether he had a girlfriend yet. He responded, "Aunt Chris, girls are like people. Some are nice, and some aren't."

On that I must go. Besides, the producer who is trying to impress me by belching the alphabet is really getting on my nerves.

We'll talk again ...

SportsCenter anchor Chris McKendry is a regular columnist for Page 2.