ESPN.com - The Great Jones-Jackson Faceoff

ESPN.com: Page 2

Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Updated: December 13, 8:37 PM ET
The Great Jones-Jackson Faceoff

Page 2 staff

Maybe Jimmy Johnson has been away from football too long. Or maybe Jimmy simply remembers all too well how things ended for him in Dallas.


	Johnson

Whatever the reason, Johnson showed some confusion when he was asked about the state of the Cowboys during a halftime interview on Monday Night Football this week.

"If Michael Jackson, I mean Jerry Jones, would have kept Troy Aikman, they'd be in first," Johnson said.

Well, if a brilliant mind like Johnson can't always tell the difference between Jones and Jackson, then Page 2 figured a lot of other folks out there are probably confused as well.

So, we're here to provide this helpful guide to spotting the very subtle differences between these two similar fellas:

Jerry Jones vs. Michael Jackson
Category	Jerry Jones	Michael Jackson
Age	59	43
Race	White	Next question
Hair	Silver	Once caught fire during Pepsi commercial
Day job	Owner/head coach, Dallas Cowboys	King of Pop
Ranch	Valley	Neverland
Hated critic	Jimmy Johnson	National Enquirer
Most important Quincy	Carter	Jones
Facelifts	One	To infinity ... and beyond!
Triplets	Emmitt, Troy and Michael	Welcome guests in his amusement park -- as long as they're under 12
Can't let go of	Emmitt Smith	His childhood
Fashion accessory	Super Bowl rings	One glove
Last seen in public with	53 losers	Britney Spears, Marlon Brando, Whitney Houston
Most appropriate hit	"Mommas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys."	"Beat It."
Signature move	Billionaire strut on sideline	Moonwalk
Never forgiven for	Firing Tom Landry	All that crotch grabbing
Guy they put on the map	Chan Gailey	Weird Al Yankovic
"Weirder" colleague	Al Davis	Marilyn Manson
Meglomaniacal notion	"We are America's Team"	"We Are The World"
Window dressing	Dave Campo is my head coach	Madonna is my Oscars date
"Bad"	His players' police records	The album after "Thriller"
Only person he trusts	Jerry Jones	Elizabeth Taylor
Once flirted with	Jon Gruden	Brooke Shields
Pepsi	Official soft drink at Texas Stadium	One scary memory
Weirdest purchase	Tony Banks (for a few weeks)	Elephant Man's skeleton
Decision they regret	Signing Ryan Leaf	Encouraging LaToya
Lost	45 pounds in the last year	Most of his pigment
Hasn't had a hit since	Jimmy quit running the draft	His second nose job
Buddy	Lee	Bubbles