Tuesday, April 23, 2002
Beyond Yankees domes
From the Page 2 mailbag
Is this a new YES Network sitcom, "Boomer and El Duque"?
We weren't sure what was going on with David Wells and New York Yankees teammate Orlando Hernandez, so we sought your help for explanations. After receiving nearly 2,000 e-mails, we've chosen the best caption suggestions below.
Wells: "Do you know what my hand is?"
Duque: "What?"
Wells: "A brain sucker. Know what it's doing?"
Duque: "What?"
Wells: "Starving"
Dave Sutch
South Elgin, Ill.
"As I look into my crystal ball, I see ... another Yankee's pennant in the future ..."
Ken
Chicago
"All this dieting leaves me so unsatisfied. Hmm, I wonder ... no, not quite ripe yet."
Heather
Hawthorne, N.J.
"Hold still, I think you still have seaweed in your ear from your swim over."
Greg Adams
Fort Collins, Colo.
Wells: "El Duque, your head is about the size of one of Pamela Anderson's breasts."
Duque: "How would you know?"
David Couzens
Royal Oak, Mich.
"Yeah, all we have to do is paint ourselves blue, and we'll be ready for the Pentium V commercial auditions!"
Elliot Plaisance
Seminole, Fla.
David Wells is calculating El Duque's real age by counting the number of rings on the top of his head.
Kellen Dougherty
Owego, N.Y.
"Hey, man, this worked in 'Space Jam.' "
Michael
Deerfield, Mich.
"That, my friend, is a wet willy."
Yogi Mitchell
Washington
In a historic meeting between East and West, Buddha meets up with his nearly identical twin.
Billy Bath
Primos, Pa.
"The power of the Lord compels you!! The power of the Lord compels you!! The power of ..."
Ronald Balle
Morrisville, Pa.
"Hey, did Rivera steal your hair, too?"
Brent Murray
Nova Scotia
In an attempt to create a sense of urgency regarding his pitching staff, George Steinbrenner hires comedian Gallagher to size up Orlando Hernandez's head for use with the Sledge-O-Matic.
Greg Sweet
Fort Wayne, Ind.
"Ooohhhh, genie of the lamp, please grant me a million Blimpie subs and a Cy Young on the side."
Ran-D
Alameda, Calif.
"Seriously, David, it was funny the first time, but I don't actually taste like chicken."
Aaron Ingram
Canada
Lifesize El Duque Bobblehead Night seemed like such a good idea at the Friday meeting ...
Simon Fugaa
Philadelphia
"Man, I didn't know Jesse Ventura knew the claw hold ..."
James Baltazar
Pittsburgh
The morning after always hurts when you party with David Wells.
Marty
Long Beach, Calif.
David Wells competes in the "Who can pick up El Duque by his head?" competition in the Yankees organization. The competition was later won by defending champ Alfonso Soriano. El Duque, recalling the contest from the year before said, "I'm glad Knoblauch isn't here; he nearly broke my skull when I slipped out of his hand."
Walter Dalton
Muncie, Ind.
"Well, personally, Orlando, I use a counter-clockwise motion when I juice an orange. Here, let me show you."
Dan Bower
Kansas City, Mo.
And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: New York Yankees' David Wells, left, rubs the head of teammate Orlando Hernandez before their game against the Baltimore Orioles on April 16 at Yankee Stadium in New York. (AP Photo/ Ron Frehm)
