Tuesday, July 16, 2002
Updated: July 17, 11:54 AM ET
Glad to see you
From the Page 2 mailbag
What do Byung-Hyun Kim and an elephant in the fridge have in common? Neither can close the door!
Even with all their similarities, we still weren't sure what was going on at the All-Star Game between these two, so we asked Page 2 readers for their explanation. Here are the best responses from the 500 e-mails we received.
"Elephant ... Goat. Goat ... Elephant."
Mike Turpin
Franklin Square, N.Y.
After a few poor performances in high-profile games, Byung-Hyun Kim consults the A's mascot on what it's like to work for peanuts.
Eric Noggle
Springfield, Ill.
Here you see yet another late-game pitching option that is still better than a tie game.
Lance Jenkins
Lenexa, Kan.
Fed up with the abundance of heckling over the past nine months, Kim shows the nose-breathing, (wise-ass) pachyderm exactly what choking is.
Bob Monagan
Encinitas, Calif.
Having successfully cleared up any cultural misunderstanding, A's mascot Stomper finishes explaining to foreign-born Byun-Hyun Kim exactly why an elephant represents the Oakland Athletics. Subsequently, Americans in the crowd ask him to speak up.
Russ H.
Columbus, Ohio
"Yeah, there ya go ... now you see what I mean? You gotta put the Vaseline waaaay up your nose."
Jason Greening
Denver
"Hey, Byung, remember the time you gave up those World Series' home runs?! I lost a lot of money on those games! Elephants never forget, man!"
Jeff Barry
Lombard, Ill.
"On behalf of the Republican Party, I would like to thank you, the rest of the players and the owners for continuing to exclude the riff-raff known as 'fans' from our elitist group ..."
Bill Allen
Duluth, Ga.
"Uhh ... B.K. ... you are aware of MLB's sexual harassment policy aren't you?"
A.J.
New York
Bud Selig demonstrates that he doesn't care how far he must go ... he will make a joke out of Major League Baseball.
Jon Walsh
Chicago
Mama always said, "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose!"
Scott Wingfield
Nashville, N.C.
"Hey, c'mon! I don't come into the bullpen and play with your extremities."
Wesley
Tucson, Ariz.
Bob Brenly told Kim to go out there and, "Grab the tiger by the tail." This was the odd result. Proof yet again why you don't cut costs on translators.
Alex Beal
Missoula, Mont.
"Stupid elephant, that Viagra was for later ... and what'd you do, snort it?!"
Johnny
West Harrison, N.Y.
Kim: "In my country, you are a delicacy -- we serve you up on a platter."
Stomper: "Ohhh. Sort of like your fastball?"
Chris George
Odenton, Md.
Arizona closer Byung-Hyun Kim caught in the act with infamous MLB 'roid dealer, Stomper the elephant.
Brian Scipion
San Diego
Byung-Hyun Kim reunites with his long lost friend, the Oakland A's elephant. Kim found Stomper choking on a peanut just outside of a village in Zabiria. Kim, an expert in that field, was quick to assist him.
Joey Jones
Augusta, Ga.
"Hi, nice to meet you. Jason or Jeremy?"
Chris George
Odenton, Md.
"Ha, Ha! Yeah, I don't get it either! I still have a job, and the Athletics' mascot is an elephant?!"
Cara Price
South Plainfield, N.J.
After finally getting over the humiliation of the "World Series incident," Kim's hopes of an uneventful All-Star Game are dashed when he fell for Stomper's, "Come here and pull my trunk" routine.
Cyle
Harrisburg, Pa.
"That's Commissioner Dumbo to you, pal!"
Mike Rohan
Chicago
And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: National League All-Star pitcher Byung-Hyun Kim of the Arizona Diamondbacks shakes hands with the Oakland Athletics' mascot, Stomper, during the NL's batting practice July 8 before the home run derby at Miller Park in Milwaukee. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)
